Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates available jobs in four economical sectors such as Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture and Healthcare in the US between 1960 to 2020.

Overall, it is visible that Retail and Healthcare sectors in US experienced an upward trend throughout the period and they were at the similar point by the end of the period.

In 1960, the number of jobs available in Healthcare was approximately 2.5 millions while 6 millions jobs in both Retail and Agriculture sectors .The number of jobs available in Manufacturing was highest in 1960 which was 15 millions.

However, Retail and Healthcare had a growth in jobs in 1980, 2000 and 2020.In 2020, both Retail and Healthcare available jobs was about 16 millions.Whereas, Agriculture experienced a downward trend and ended up in 2.5 millions from 6 millions by 2020.Manufacturing reached its peak at 20 millions with its availibilty of jobs as highest in the US in1980 but fall to 13 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall patterns: retail and healthcare rise, agriculture declines, and manufacturing peaks before falling. The comparison that retail and healthcare finish at similar levels is also relevant, and most figures are close to the chart. However, the overview could distinguish the sectors more clearly: manufacturing begins as the largest employer, while retail and healthcare catch up by 2020. Some details are imprecise or incomplete; for example, healthcare is about 2 million in 1960, not 2.5 million, and the response says the growing sectors rose in 1980, 2000 and 2020 without describing their intermediate values. A clearer overview and more precise comparisons across the period would make the key features better developed.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement, moving from an introduction and overview to details about the starting point and later changes. This makes the main trends reasonably easy to follow. However, the body information is compressed into one paragraph, and the sequence of details is not always smooth: the sentence beginning “However, Retail and Healthcare…” groups two rising sectors before switching abruptly to agriculture and manufacturing. Some linking is mechanical or unclear, particularly “Whereas” at the start of a sentence and the repeated use of “In 2020.” Organise the details into clearer comparisons—for example, one section on the rising sectors and another on the declining or fluctuating sectors—and use links that show the relationship between ideas more precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “upward trend,” “downward trend,” “growth,” and “peak.” These choices communicate the main movements, and the sector names are used appropriately. Some word choices and collocations are less natural, however: “available jobs” is repeated, “economical sectors” is not the usual term, and “at the similar point” is imprecise. There are also spelling and form errors, such as “availibilty.” Aim for concise, conventional chart language and vary the verbs used to describe change. For example, you could say that employment “rose steadily,” “declined,” or “reached a high of” a stated figure, rather than repeatedly referring to jobs being available.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including a relative clause in “Manufacturing, … which was 15 millions” and a contrast introduced by “while.” The overall meaning remains understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “between 1960 to 2020” uses the wrong preposition pattern; “both Retail and Healthcare available jobs was” has faulty word order and subject–verb agreement; and “Manufacturing … but fall” shifts incorrectly from past tense. Plural forms and punctuation also need attention, as in “2.5 millions” and the missing spaces after full stops. Check agreement, past-tense consistency, and sentence boundaries when editing; more accurate control of these structures would strengthen the response.

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