Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrates about the amount of jobs in four sectors of manufacturing,retail,agriculture and helthcare of the economy in the US over the 80 year period from 1960 to 2020.

Overall ,manufacturing and agriculture showed downward trend ,whereas retail and healthcare showed upward trend.

In detail,manufacturing start with 15 millions jobs at 1960 ,it grow up to peak 20 millions by 1980 yet it fell down at approximately 12.5 millions by 2020.Agriculture begin with lower point of job amount above 6 million and it always decrease down ward at approximately 2.5 million by 2020.

In contrast ,retail and healthcare begin with lower points by 1960 , above 6 and above 3 millions respectively.Whereas it rise to at approximately 16 million jobs in 2020 and that two jobs are showed similar number in that yea.By the way agriculture and retail jobs are begin with same amount in 1960 but that trend goes to opposit ward.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast accurately: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. You also report key endpoints and the manufacturing peak, so the response addresses the graph with relevant information. However, some details are inaccurate or unclear: manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 12.5; agriculture starts at 6 million rather than above 6; and healthcare starts at 2 million, not above 3. The overview also misses the important comparison that retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million by 2020, while manufacturing remains the largest sector until 2000. To strengthen the report, give a clearer account of the intermediate figures and distinguish the two rising series’ different rates of growth.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs that group the declining and rising sectors. This gives the reader a coherent overall route through the information. Some links, however, are awkward or unclear. For example, “Whereas it rise” does not clearly identify whether “it” refers to retail or healthcare, and “that two jobs” makes the comparison difficult to follow. “By the way” is also an unsuitable transition for introducing a data comparison. Improve cohesion by naming each sector rather than relying on unclear pronouns, and use precise links such as “Meanwhile” or “By contrast.” A more systematic sequence—starting values, changes to 1980 and 2000, then final values—would make comparisons easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “downward trend,” “upward trend,” “peak,” and “fell,” and the reader can generally understand the intended comparisons. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, such as “the amount of jobs,” “grow up,” “fell down,” and “lower points of job amount.” There are also spelling errors, including “helthcare” and “opposit.” These issues make the description less precise and fluent, even though the main meaning is usually recoverable. Aim for standard graph language and check spelling carefully; terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “declined,” and “employment level” would express the data more naturally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer comparisons, and the overall meaning is usually understandable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, plurals, and sentence construction are frequent enough to make some sentences difficult to read. Examples include “manufacturing start,” “it grow up,” “it always decrease,” and “that two jobs are showed.” The opening sentence also has an unclear grammatical structure, while several clauses are joined without effective punctuation. Practise accurate past-tense reporting, for example, “Manufacturing started at 15 million jobs and rose to 20 million by 1980.” Use complete, clearly punctuated sentences and check subject–verb agreement and singular/plural forms before finishing.

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