Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In 1960, the US economy was revolving around the manufacturing industry with 15 million jobs outweighing the other like agriculture and retail at 5 million and healthcare at 2 million, In the next two decades, the manufacturing industury flourished more and reached its peak of 20 million jobs, A mild increase in retail and healthcare sector was also observed in these decade to 10 million and 5 million respectively. However in following decades till 2000, the trend shifted and a decline in manufacturing jobs was experienced as compared to retail and healthcare jobs, where agriculture remained stable throughout this time frame. Going forward in the 2000 century till 2020, for the first time jobs volume in the retail industry and healtncare sector surpassed the manufacturing industry, and again a decline in the manufacturing jobs were observed where retail and healthcare jobs climbed to almost 16 millions each, the manufacturing industry declined to 13 million and agriculture declined to its all time low of 2 millions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main shifts across the period: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, while retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls overall. The final comparison that retail and healthcare reach about 16 million jobs each, above manufacturing at 13 million, is also relevant. This covers the key features and supports a clear overview, with enough accurate figures to make the account informative. However, some details are imprecise: agriculture is about 6 million in 1960, not 5 million, and it does not remain stable throughout the period, since it falls from 6 to 3 million before declining again. The overview is embedded in the chronology rather than stated distinctly. A more explicit summary of the overall ranking and contrasting trends would make the response more complete and precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response follows a generally logical chronological sequence, moving from 1960 through 1980 and 2000 to 2020. Time markers such as “In the next two decades,” “However,” and “Going forward” help signal changes, so the reader can follow the broad development. However, the whole account is presented as one long sentence-like paragraph, with commas and capital letters used where full stops are needed. This makes the progression feel mechanical and occasionally obscures the relationship between ideas. Some references, such as “these decade” and “this time frame,” are not fully clear. Divide the report into an introduction, a concise overview, and grouped detail paragraphs, and use linking expressions selectively rather than relying mainly on time transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use a reasonable range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “reached its peak,” “decline,” “surpassed,” and “climbed.” These choices communicate the main movements and show attempts to use more varied language than repeated “increased” and “decreased.” Some word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward, however: “the US economy was revolving around” is not a natural way to describe employment figures, and “jobs volume” and “all time low” are imprecise in this context. There are also spelling errors, including “industury” and “healtncare,” which reduce accuracy. Prefer standard chart language such as “employment was concentrated in,” “the number of jobs,” and “fell to its lowest point.” Check spelling and use collocations that describe data directly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt complex sentences with time clauses and contrasts, for example, “However in following decades till 2000, the trend shifted…” This shows some range, and the intended meaning is generally understandable. However, sentence boundaries and punctuation are a significant area to improve: several independent clauses are joined by commas, and the response contains a long run-on sequence rather than clearly controlled sentences. There are also errors in agreement and number, such as “a decline … were observed,” “these decade,” and “16 millions.” Articles and phrasing are sometimes awkward, as in “in the 2000 century.” Use full stops to separate each period, then check subject–verb agreement and singular forms such as “16 million jobs.”

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