Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The chart illustrates the knowledge about the numbers of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.It shows that the jobs in Retail had rose up gradually from 1960 to 2020 and number of agriculture jobs had been decreased gradually in this period.
In 1960 manufacturing jobs stand at 15m and increased up to 20m in 1980,after that in 2000 it had decreased slightly to around 17m and less than 15m in 2020.Jobs in retail sectors increased from 5m to about16m from 1960 to 2020.In agriculture sector jobs availability stands at 5m in 1960 same as retail but it fall away and show a stability at 3m in both 1980 to 2000 and a slighty dropped to 2m in 2020.facility of jobs in healthcare show an upward trend in all these years,In 1960 it started from 2m and had went up to 5m in 1980,Moreover onward these years it grewup steady and stands at 12m and in 2020 it risen to more then 16m.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5
You identify several important trends: manufacturing peaks in 1980 before declining, retail rises, agriculture falls, and healthcare grows. You also include figures for all four sectors, and most are close to the chart. However, the overview is limited to retail and agriculture, so it misses the broader comparison that manufacturing was initially the largest sector while retail and healthcare reached about 16 million jobs by 2020. Some details are inaccurate: retail starts at 6 million, not 5 million, and healthcare is about 11 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, rather than 12 million and more than 16 million. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of key comparisons would make the response more complete and developed.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response follows a generally understandable order, moving from an opening summary to details about manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. This helps the reader follow the sectors, and time references such as “in 1960” and “in 2020” provide some structure. However, the information is presented as one long, crowded paragraph, and the overview is not clearly separated from the detailed reporting. Several transitions are awkward or unclear, including “Moreover onward these years,” while repeated use of “and” makes relationships between changes less precise. Organise the response into a distinct overview and one or two detail paragraphs, and use linking phrases to show contrasts and stages more accurately.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increased,” “decreased,” “upward trend” and “stability,” so the main changes can usually be understood. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “the knowledge about the numbers,” “jobs availability,” and “facility of jobs.” There are also noticeable word-form and spelling problems, including “slighty,” “grewup” and “more then.” These reduce the precision and fluency of the description. Aim for standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “employment in agriculture,” and “rose steadily,” and check spelling and word forms carefully.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
You attempt to combine information in longer sentences and use past-time references, but the response shows a limited range of structures and frequent errors in verb forms, agreement and sentence boundaries. Examples include “Retail had rose up,” “it fall away,” and “it risen,” where the verb forms are incorrect. The opening also runs together after “2020,” and the sentence beginning “In agriculture sector” contains several clauses joined without clear punctuation. These errors sometimes make the timeline or relationship between ideas harder to follow. Practise accurate past-simple forms for chart descriptions, and use shorter, controlled sentences alongside a few well-formed complex sentences.
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