Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 6.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs in four job-areas of economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the graph shows that the highest number of job is of manufacturing till 2000 but then it faces decline over the final year. The retail and healthcare jobs go in parallel thoroughout the total tenure while the agriculture jobs stay at bottom.
The highest and the lowest jobs are of manufacturing and agriculture accordingly. Agriculture jobs were slightly above 5 million dollars in 1960 which start facing the downfall and reach below 5 million dollars by the end. This sector of jobs stays almost same till 2020. On the other hand, manufacturing begins from 15 millions, reaches it's peak in 1980 which is 20 millions and then gradually falls down and stops under 15 millions in the last year.
The sectors of retail and healthcare go parallel in the graph. However, retail gets a start from above 5 millions and considerably goes upward to about 15 millions. While the sector of healthcare can be seen starting to raise from below 5 millions to the 15 million dollars in the final year.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5
You identify the main overall pattern: manufacturing leads for much of the period before declining, while agriculture remains the smallest sector. You also report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to 20 million and its later fall, and healthcare’s growth to about 16 million. This gives the response a relevant overview and covers all four sectors. However, some comparisons are unclear or inaccurate: retail and healthcare do not move “in parallel” throughout, since retail is higher until 2020, when they are level. The agriculture description also says it “stays almost same till 2020,” although it falls from about 3 million to 2 million after 2000. More precise comparisons and clearer reporting of these later changes would strengthen the account.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5
The response has a clear four-paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to manufacturing/agriculture and then retail/healthcare. This makes the information easy to locate, and transitions such as “On the other hand” and “However” help signal comparisons. The progression is generally logical, but some linking is mechanical or does not accurately express the relationship: “go in parallel” is repeated for retail and healthcare even though their trends and values differ. The final paragraph also begins with “While” as a sentence fragment, which interrupts the flow. Use comparisons that reflect the data, and connect related details within complete sentences so the progression feels more controlled.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “illustrates,” “decline,” “peak,” and “considerably,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. However, several word choices and collocations are noticeably inaccurate or unnatural, such as “four job-areas of economy,” “the highest number of job is,” “go in parallel,” and “stops under 15 millions.” The repeated use of “jobs” and “sector” also limits precision. In addition, “million dollars” is inappropriate because the graph measures numbers of jobs, not money. Aim for standard chart language such as “employment,” “rose to,” and “fell to,” and use “million jobs” consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5
You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses introduced by “which” and “while,” and the main meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in agreement, articles, verb forms, and sentence construction remain noticeable. For example, “the highest number of job is” has a singular/plural mismatch, while “which start facing the downfall” uses an incorrect verb form and awkward clause structure. “While the sector of healthcare can be seen starting to raise…” is not joined to a main clause, and “reaches it's peak” uses an incorrect possessive form. Work on accurate subject–verb agreement and complete sentence structures, especially when combining comparisons; these corrections would make your varied sentence attempts more reliable.
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