Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line chart illustrates about the number of opportunities in four sectors of the economy in the united states between 1960 and 2020.

Looking form the overall perspective, manufacturing industry provided the highest jobs . However, the lowest opportunities were provided by agriculture sector.

To begin with, in 1960 healthcare and retail provided 6 and 3 million jobs respectively. Therefore , it significantly increased to 11 and 16 million . whereas, a slight fall by 1 million was observed in retail and healthcare had a rise to 16 million and meet at same point

Moving ahead ,15 million of jobs were provided by manufacturing sector in 1960 , which rose to 20 million in 1980 and fall was experienced to 14 million in 2020. In addition , agriculture industry was at 6 million jobs in 1960 , which kept on slowly decreasing and reached at 4 million and remained constant till 2000. furthermore , it had a decline by 1 million in 2020

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the broad contrast between manufacturing and agriculture, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing was the largest sector only up to 2000, while by 2020 retail and healthcare were joint leaders at about 16 million. The body also contains important data errors. In 1960, retail had about 6 million jobs and healthcare 2 million, not 3 and 6; agriculture fell to about 3 million by 1980 and stayed there until 2000, rather than reaching 4 million. The comparison between retail and healthcare is also difficult to follow. Select the main trends accurately and give a clear overview of how the rankings changed over time.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic structure, with an introduction, an overview and two body paragraphs, and it attempts to group sectors together. However, progression within the paragraphs is not consistently clear. For example, the sentence beginning “Therefore, it significantly increased” does not make clear which figures belong to which sector or which years are being compared. Connectors such as “Moving ahead” and “In addition” are used, but some transitions do not clarify the relationship between the information. The final sentence also ends without a clear comparison or concluding point. Organise the details by sector or by period, and use explicit references to years and categories so the reader can follow each trend.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing a graph, including “rose,” “fall,” “decline” and “remained constant.” However, the range is limited and several choices are imprecise or unnatural for this task. “Opportunities” is not an accurate substitute for jobs, and “provided the highest jobs” is an awkward collocation. Phrases such as “meet at same point” and “reached at 4 million” also reduce clarity. There are noticeable spelling and form issues, including “form” for “from” and inconsistent capitalisation of “United States.” Use precise terms such as “employment” or “number of jobs,” and practise standard collocations for describing increases, decreases and levels.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including clauses with “which,” but control is uneven. Verb forms are inconsistent in “which rose to 20 million in 1980 and fall was experienced,” where the past-tense sequence should be maintained. The sentence “Therefore, it significantly increased to 11 and 16 million” lacks a clear grammatical reference for “it,” and “healthcare had a rise to 16 million and meet at same point” contains errors in verb form and sentence construction. There are also problems with articles, punctuation and spacing, such as “agriculture sector” and spaces before commas or full stops. Build shorter, clearly controlled comparisons first, then extend them with accurate clauses and consistent past-tense verbs.

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