Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The given graph illustrates the number of jobs in four sectors in America from1960 to 2020.

Overall the graph shows that the number of people in manufacturing and agriculture sector decreased throughout the period while the number of individuals in retail and healthcare increased between 1960 and 2020.

The number of jobs in 1950 was 15 millions. The demand of manufacturers were at peak in 1980, as the total number of jobs reached to 20 million. After 1980 its showed a negative trend and fell down to almost 13 millions in 2020 respectively. Similarly the number of individuals were around 6 million in 1960 which gradually decreased to almost 2 million people.

In contrast, around 6 million people started job in retail sector, showed a positive uptrend throughout th time and reached to nearly 15 millions people. In Addition, healthcare department also showd an upward trend throughout the time. The number of people in healthcare in 1960 were almost 2.5 millions and reached to 15 millions people in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the broad contrast between declining manufacturing and agriculture employment and rising retail and healthcare employment, and you include several relevant figures. However, the overview is not fully accurate: manufacturing rises to a peak in 1980 before declining, rather than decreasing throughout, and agriculture levels off between 1980 and 2000. There is also a significant date error in “The number of jobs in 1950,” which should refer to 1960; this figure appears to describe manufacturing. Some comparisons are incomplete: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, matching healthcare, while your account gives retail as 15 million and healthcare as 15 million. A clearer overview and more precise reporting of these key features would make the summary more complete.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and separate paragraphs describing the declining and rising sectors. The contrast marker “In contrast” helps signal the shift to retail and healthcare, and the information generally progresses from earlier to later years. This coherent structure supports the reader, although some linking is mechanical or imprecise, as in “Similarly” before the agriculture trend and “In Addition” before healthcare. The grouping could also be made more systematic by comparing the two rising sectors directly and noting that they finish at similar levels. Clearer references and more purposeful transitions would strengthen the progression further.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of task-related vocabulary, including “peak,” “negative trend,” “gradually decreased,” and “upward trend,” so the main movements are understandable. There are also attempts at more formal phrasing, such as “illustrates” and “reached.” However, some choices are inaccurate or unnatural: “demand of manufacturers” does not describe the number of jobs, and “started job in retail sector” is awkward. “People” is repeated where “jobs” or “employment” would be more precise, and “millions” is incorrectly used after specific figures such as “15.” Spelling slips such as “th time” and “showd” also reduce control. More precise collocations and careful proofreading would improve the range’s effectiveness.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and complex sentence forms, including the overview clause beginning “while” and the time clause “After 1980.” Most of the intended comparisons remain understandable, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the number of individuals were” has subject–verb disagreement, while “the number of people in healthcare … were” has the same problem. The phrase “After 1980 its showed” has an incorrect pronoun construction, and “reached to” uses an unnecessary preposition. Articles and plurals are also inconsistent in phrases such as “in retail sector” and “15 millions.” These errors do not generally prevent understanding, but more reliable agreement, verb forms, and sentence editing are needed for stronger accuracy.

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