Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The graph illustrates the jobs of four sectors of the economy in US between 1960 and 2020. The professions are Manufacturing, Retail, Agriculture, and healthcare. Jobs are mentioned in millions.

overall, the higher numbers were in manufacturing but these figures did not sustained after 1980 and visible fall can be seen in the graph. Retail and healthcare had a constant increase during all these years, but as compared to manufacturing the number of jobs were low. However, after 2000 it intersected with retail and healthcare. Whereas, the manufacturing was decreasing while the other two industries were flourshing with great number of jobs. On the other hand, Agriculture was higher in number, but it was persistant in losing the numbers.

In 1960 manufacturing was the popular industry as compared to all others as it had 15 million employes. These numbers reached up to 20 million in 1980, but after this until 2020 a drastic decline was promenent in the job numbers. Moreover, retail and agriculture began with almost 6 million, but in retail the numbers were rising while agriculture lost all the jobs and after dramatic decrease the numbers were 2million.

In conclusion, retail and agriculture had a significant increase during this time period. Manufacturing and agriculture faced the failure in number of jobs and had a decline.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You identify the four sectors and report several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and agriculture declining. However, the overview is not consistently accurate: you say retail and healthcare increased but remained below manufacturing, although by 2020 both were about 16 million, above manufacturing at 13 million. The statement that retail and agriculture increased in the conclusion also contradicts the data for agriculture, which fell from 6 million to 2 million. Some key comparisons are missing, especially healthcare’s strong rise and the fact that retail and healthcare ended as the joint highest sectors. To strengthen the response, give a clear, accurate overview and support it with the main figures and comparisons rather than broad or conflicting claims.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to an overview and then to details, and it uses linking expressions such as “Moreover” and “On the other hand.” This gives the reader some guidance through the information. However, progression is weakened by unclear references and contradictory statements: “it intersected with retail and healthcare” does not clearly identify what crossed what, and the conclusion says agriculture increased despite the earlier description of its decline. The overview also combines several trends without organising them clearly. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, then using precise references to each line, would make the comparisons easier to follow and the cohesion less mechanical.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “decline,” “increase,” “dramatic decrease,” and “popular industry,” and the sector names are generally clear. There is an attempt to vary wording, but several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a graph description, such as “the jobs of four sectors,” “flourshing with great number of jobs,” and “faced the failure in number of jobs.” Spelling errors such as “flourshing,” “persistant,” and “promenent” also reduce precision. Choose standard trend language and collocations, for example, “employment in manufacturing peaked” or “agricultural employment fell steadily.” More accurate vocabulary would help you describe the data without relying on vague phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mixture of simple and longer sentences, including clauses introduced by “while” and “but,” and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, errors in verb forms, agreement, articles, and sentence construction occur repeatedly. For example, “these figures did not sustained” should use the base form after “did,” while “the number of jobs were low” has a singular subject requiring “was.” The sentence beginning “Whereas, the manufacturing…” is a fragment, and “after dramatic decrease” needs an article. Punctuation and capitalisation are also inconsistent, as in the lowercase “overall” after a full stop. Check each sentence for a complete main clause and review subject–verb agreement and articles.

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