Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-03

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The graph explains about the jobs availability for people in US in four different sectors from 1960 to 2020. In these 60 years, number of jobs for two sectors decreased while in increased for other two sectors.

Firstly talking about Manufacturing, the number of jobs were 15 millions in 1960 which increased by 5 millions in 20 years but after 1980 it continously decreased to around 13 million in 2020. But, the jobs in retail sector got a massive increased from start at 6 millions to 10 millions in 20 years and again to 15 millions in the next 20 years; lastly standing at 16 millions in 2020. Similarly for Healthcare sector, we can see a rapid increase in job availability from 2 millions to 12 millions in 40 years and finally standing at 16.5 millions in 2020. The jobs in Agriculture sector decreased alot because of economy and the lose of interest of the government over this sector. This sector stood at 6 millions in start of 1960 but the availability was at just 2 millions by the end of 2020.

We can say the economy effected alot for job availability in two sectors like manufacturing and Agriculture due to change in interest. But availability increased for two remaining sectors like Retail and Healthcare.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad pattern: manufacturing and agriculture decline overall, while retail and healthcare rise. The response also includes several relevant figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture falling from 6 million to 2 million. However, some details are inaccurate: healthcare is about 11 million in 2000, not 12 million, and finishes at 16 million rather than 16.5 million. The overview is present but repeats the trend summary without highlighting the key comparison that retail and healthcare converge at around 16 million by 2020. The explanation that agriculture declined because of government interest and economic change is not shown by the graph. Focus on describing visible data and develop the most important comparisons more precisely.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall sequence: an introduction and summary, followed by descriptions of the four sectors and a concluding statement. Time markers such as “in 20 years,” “after 1980,” and “by the end of 2020” help readers follow changes. However, the body is largely one long paragraph, so the comparisons between sectors are not easy to scan. Some linking is mechanical, particularly the repeated “Firstly,” “But,” and “Similarly,” and the final paragraph restates the opening overview rather than adding a useful comparison. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sectors together, with clearer paragraph breaks, would create more effective progression and make relationships between the data easier to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “increased,” “decreased,” “rapid increase,” and “availability,” and the main trends remain understandable. However, several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for a data report: “jobs availability,” “massive increased,” and “the lose of interest” do not express the intended ideas idiomatically. “Continously” and “alot” also show spelling errors, while “standing at” is repeated and becomes imprecise. The unsupported phrase “because of economy” also moves beyond what the graph can establish. Aim for precise reporting verbs and nouns, such as “rose,” “declined,” and “employment,” and use them consistently. This would improve clarity and control without requiring more elaborate vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a time clause in “after 1980 it continuously decreased” and a comparison introduced by “while.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “the number of jobs were” has subject–verb disagreement, and “from start at 6 millions” has an incomplete and awkward sentence structure. In “In these 60 years, number of jobs,” the noun phrase needs an article, while “increased by 5 millions” uses an incorrect plural form after a number. The opening sentence also has an incomplete contrast: “while in increased” lacks a clear subject and verb. Check agreement, articles, plural forms, and sentence completeness when editing.

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