Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

This line graph illustrate that how many jobs were done by which sector of economy in united antion during 1960 to 2020.

To commence with, In manufacturing sector of economy, 15 millions jobs were done by people in 1960 which gradually enchaced after 20 years with 5 millions . However, till 2020 it was sharply decreased to 8 millions. Moreover, in retail sector starting growth was up to 6 millions which continousily increased between 1960 to 2000 and reach at 16 millions after 2w0 years. Futhermore, heathcare sector, In 1960 has just 3 million jobs which by the time passing reached at 16 millions which shows highest growth in this sector.

Although, the agriculture sector begin with 6 millions then fall down with half of its numbers in next 20 years but it remained constant till 2000 then was showed marginally decreased trend after that which reached out just at 2 millions of jobs.

In conclusiion, not only reatil but healthcare sector of economy in united nation were gradually increased within the time period but other two sector, manufacturing and agriculture shows downfall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main overall contrast: retail and healthcare rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing eventually falls. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million initially and agriculture ending at 2 million. However, some key details are inaccurate: manufacturing peaks at 20 million in 1980 and falls to 13 million by 2020, not 8 million; retail reaches 15 million in 2000 and 16 million in 2020, rather than reaching 16 million after 20 years. Healthcare starts at 2 million, not 3 million. The overview is relevant, but the account of the trends and comparisons needs more precise reporting, especially for manufacturing and retail.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a recognisable structure, moving from an introduction to sector details and then a concluding overview. Grouping manufacturing and retail before discussing agriculture and healthcare gives the reader a general route through the data. However, progression within the body is sometimes difficult to follow because several trends are compressed into long sentences, and the sequence of years is not always explicit. Connectors such as “Moreover,” “Furthermore,” and “Although” are used, but some feel mechanical or do not clearly show the relationship between the information. For example, the healthcare point is joined to the retail discussion without a clear transition. Use separate, focused sentences and clearer time markers to make comparisons easier to track.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “sector,” “increased,” “decreased,” “constant,” and “marginally,” so the reader can generally understand the trends being described. However, the range is limited and several word-choice, collocation, and spelling errors make the report less precise. Phrases such as “jobs were done by people,” “starting growth was up to,” and “reached at” are not natural ways to describe employment figures. There are also noticeable misspellings, including “enchaced,” “continousily,” and “conclusiion.” Aim for standard chart language such as “employment stood at,” “rose to,” and “declined to,” and check spelling carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and more complex sentences, including a contrast with “Although” and clauses describing changes over time. The main meaning is usually recoverable, but errors in sentence construction and grammatical forms occur across the response. For example, “This line graph illustrate that how many jobs…” has subject–verb disagreement and an awkward clause structure; “15 millions jobs” and “healthcare sector… has just 3 million jobs” show problems with number and tense. Some sentences also lack clear grammatical links, as in “which gradually enchaced after 20 years with 5 millions.” Use a consistent past tense for the historical data, check singular/plural agreement, and build shorter, complete sentences before attempting more complex structures.

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