Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The given line graph illustrates the information about the digit of jobs in four different sector of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020. Overall, the retail sector gradually climbs up to 15 million jobs, while only agriculture sector falls by time.

In the beginning, manufacturing sector rose to 20 million in 1980 and with the passage of time it falled below than 15 million jobs in 2020. In 1960, retail sector jobs were only at 5 million with the flow of time it steadily climbed to above than 15 million. Furthermore, only the agriculture sector slowly declined from 5 million jobs to 2 million jobs in 2020. Additionally, in 1960 due to lack of health studies healthcare sector jobs were only 2 million and with the development and it slowly by pass of time rise to 5 million jobs in 1980 and in 2000 it exceeded from 10 million jobs and further in 2020 it was higher than 15 million.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main broad patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, retail and healthcare rise, and agriculture falls. You also include figures at several points, such as manufacturing reaching 20 million and healthcare rising to over 15 million by 2020. However, the overview is incomplete and one claim is inaccurate: healthcare also rises, so agriculture is not the “only” sector to change direction or trend. The response does not clearly compare the sectors at the end, when retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million, nor does it report that manufacturing remains higher than retail and healthcare until 2000. Some details are imprecise, but the main trends are generally relevant and recognisable.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable overall structure, beginning with an introduction and overview before moving through the sector details. This gives the reader a basic route through the information. However, the body is largely a sequence of separate descriptions rather than a clearly grouped comparison, and several links are awkward or unclear. For example, “In 1960, retail sector jobs were only at 5 million with the flow of time…” joins two ideas without effective punctuation or a clear transition. “Additionally” introduces healthcare, but the sentence becomes difficult to follow. Grouping the rising sectors together and contrasting them with the declining sectors would create clearer progression; use linking phrases selectively and make each sentence’s relationship to the previous one explicit.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant topic vocabulary, including “sector,” “declined,” “climbed,” and “exceeded,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you intend to describe. There is some attempt to vary the language of increase and decrease. However, several word choices and collocations are unnatural or imprecise, such as “the digit of jobs,” “falled below than,” and “slowly by pass of time rise.” The explanation “due to lack of health studies” also introduces an unsupported cause rather than describing the graph. Aim for standard data-reporting phrases and avoid adding explanations that the visual does not provide. More precise wording would make the comparisons clearer and more appropriately formal.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and longer sentence forms, and the overall meaning is usually recoverable. However, some sentences contain several grammatical problems that make the relationships between ideas unclear. For instance, “In 1960, retail sector jobs were only at 5 million with the flow of time it steadily climbed” needs an article and clearer sentence separation. In “it falled below than 15 million,” the verb form and comparative construction are faulty; similarly, “it slowly … rise to 5 million” has an inconsistent verb form. There are also missing articles before sector names and inconsistent sentence punctuation. Use past-tense verbs consistently, check subject–verb agreement and articles, and divide long sentences into complete clauses.

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