Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The graph shows the number of jobs in a four sectors of the economy. The year starting with the 1960 and continuous with the year of 2020. Sector include in it is Manufacturing , Retail ,agriculture, Health care.Manufacturing is started with the 15 millions in 1960 and rise in the 1980 to 20 million moreover it fall down approximately 17 million in 2000 and then collapse to 13 millions in 2020.Another sector retail started with the 6 million in 1960 and rise to 10 millions in 1980 moreover it goes up to the 15 millions in 2000 after that it goes up to 16 million in 2020. Agriculture sector start with the 6 millions in 1960 and goes down to 3 millions in 1980 moreover it remain same in 2000 after that it little decline happened in 2000 nearly 3 millions . Health care sector started with the almost 2.5 millions in 1960 and rise up to 5 millions in 1980 moreover goes up to 11 millions in 2020 after that at the end of period it climb up 16 millions in 2020 and meet at retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0

You report several key figures accurately, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to a peak of 20 million before falling, and the steady growth in retail. However, the response does not provide a clear overview of the main patterns across all four sectors, so the reader must infer the overall comparison. There are also important inaccuracies: healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 2020, and agriculture falls to about 2 million by 2020, not around 3 million. The description of agriculture’s final decline mistakenly refers to 2000. To strengthen the report, add a concise overview identifying manufacturing’s peak and subsequent decline, the growth of retail and healthcare, and agriculture’s overall fall.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response follows a broadly understandable sequence, moving through manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare, and uses time markers such as “in 1960,” “in 1980” and “after that.” However, it is presented as one long paragraph, with no distinct introduction, overview and detail sections. Repeated use of “moreover” and “after that” makes the progression mechanical, while some links are confusing—for example, healthcare is said to rise to 11 million “in 2020” and then reach 16 million “in 2020.” Organise the report into clear paragraphs and use transitions that show contrast or change, such as “by comparison,” “whereas” and “by the end of the period.”

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use relevant sector vocabulary, including “Manufacturing,” “Retail,” “agriculture” and “Health care,” and several trend verbs help communicate the data. However, the range is limited and some choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a graph. “Collapse” overstates the manufacturing decline, while “rise up” and “little decline happened” are awkward. Repetition of “goes up” also limits precision. Use neutral, precise reporting language such as “increased,” “declined,” “remained stable” and “reached a peak.” Check standard forms and spelling, including “healthcare,” and avoid unnecessary intensifiers so that the description remains objective.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The response attempts to connect several ideas in longer sentences, but these structures are often faulty, and many basic errors make the report less clear. Examples include “a four sectors,” “Sector include in it is,” and “Manufacturing is started,” which show problems with articles, agreement and verb forms. Tense and sentence construction are also inconsistent in “it little decline happened in 2000,” and the healthcare sentence combines several time points without a clear grammatical relationship. Punctuation and spacing around commas are inconsistent as well. Practise writing shorter, complete sentences with a consistent past tense, then combine related comparisons using accurate clauses—for example, “Manufacturing rose to 20 million in 1980 before declining to 13 million by 2020.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.