Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph depicts the ratio of of people in different sectors of job like manufacturing, Agriculture, healthcare and retail in 1960 to 2020.
overall,it is quite obvious that the significant number of citizens join healthcare and retail business .Moreover, least count of individuals note in Agriculture and manufacturing.
Turning to the details, in 1960 the highest number of job vacancies seemed in manufacturing.which gradually decline in [redacted phone]. around 13 million people joined manufacturing companies. on the other hand , in retail it slightly increases every year . from the initial year it was near 5 million jobs and in the 2002 it hold more than 15 million job offers.
moving towards agriculture field. in 1960 it hold 5 million of jobs .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5
You identify the chart’s subject and mention some relevant trends, including manufacturing’s initial lead and growth in retail. However, the report addresses the task only partially: it ends after one brief point about agriculture and gives no account of healthcare, despite its substantial rise to about 16 million jobs. The overview is also inaccurate: agriculture was the smallest sector by 2020, but manufacturing was not among the least-count sectors overall, and healthcare and retail did not both simply become the significant sectors. Some figures or dates are misreported, such as placing retail’s later value in “2002” rather than 2000 or 2020. The response is also below the required 150 words. Add a complete overview and compare all four sectors across the period.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
There is a basic attempt to organise the response, with an opening, an overview, and detail paragraphs signalled by phrases such as “Turning to the details” and “moving towards agriculture field.” These markers show some awareness of sequencing. However, the progression is incomplete: the account stops after a single agriculture figure, and healthcare is not discussed, so the reader does not receive a coherent summary of the graph as a whole. Connections between ideas are sometimes mechanical or unclear, as in “on the other hand” before the retail trend, and punctuation and spacing make transitions harder to follow. Group the sectors by contrasting trends, then use clear links to compare their starting and ending figures.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “Agriculture,” and “decline,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is limited and several choices are inaccurate or unnatural for describing a jobs graph. “Ratio of of people” does not express the number of jobs, while “job vacancies,” “joined manufacturing companies,” and “job offers” shift the meaning from employment totals to vacancies or hiring. “Least count of individuals note” is also difficult to interpret. Aim for precise, repeated chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “employment,” “rose,” and “fell,” and use “approximately” when reporting values. Check spelling and capitalisation, including consistent use of sector names.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
The response attempts both simple statements and longer sentences, and the main topic is generally understandable. However, the range is limited, and errors occur frequently enough to make some sentences difficult to follow. For example, “overall,it is quite obvious” has faulty punctuation, while “the significant number of citizens join” has an unclear noun phrase and an unsuitable verb form for describing past chart data. Sentence boundaries are also problematic in “manufacturing.which gradually decline in 1980 2020,” and the tense shifts between past and present. Use complete sentences, maintain past tense for the historical figures, and check subject–verb agreement and articles. A clearer pattern would be: “Manufacturing employment peaked in 1980, then declined to about 13 million by 2020.”
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