Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The line graph displays information about the number of works in manufacturing,retail, agriculture and healthcare in the economy of united states between 1960 and 2020.

overall, manufacturing was the most dominated sector before loosing it popularity. while the agriculture was the least popular job. However, retail and healthcare rose steadily throughout the given period.

Ib detail,in 1960, manufacturing was the most popular job standing at 15 millions. It exhibit a dramatic inrease to 20 million in 1980 thereafter experienced a downward trend reaching just below 15 millions by 2020. However, Agriculture in 1960 was slightly above 5 millions. It therefore dropped consistently to just below 5 million in 1980 and become relatively stable towards 2020.

Furthermore, retail in 1960 was slightly above 5 millions and increased systematically throughout the period. Healthcare on the other hand was about 2.5 millions in 1960. It thereafter experienced an upward trend to just above 15 millions in 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing rises to a peak and then declines, agriculture remains the smallest sector, and retail and healthcare grow. The overview is relevant, and the figures for manufacturing and agriculture are broadly accurate. This shows a clear grasp of the graph. However, some comparisons are not fully reported: retail reaches about 16 million in 2020, while healthcare also reaches about 16 million, making them joint leaders at the end; this important endpoint comparison is missing. Retail’s values and growth are described only generally, and “rose steadily” slightly oversimplifies healthcare’s stages. To strengthen the response further, include the key endpoint figures and compare the sectors directly, while keeping the overview precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 7.0

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, an overview, and two detail paragraphs. The sequence from manufacturing and agriculture to retail and healthcare is easy to follow, and linking expressions such as “thereafter,” “however,” and “on the other hand” help signal relationships. This logical progression is a strength. Some transitions are less effective because “However” introduces agriculture without a clear contrast, and the final paragraph gives little detail about retail before moving to healthcare. More deliberate grouping—for example, contrasting the declining sectors with the growing ones—and clearer links between their figures would make the progression more flexible and cohesive.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of vocabulary for describing trends, including “downward trend,” “dropped consistently,” “increased systematically,” and “upward trend.” These choices make the main movements understandable. There are, however, several inaccurate or unnatural expressions that limit precision: “number of works” is not the right term for jobs, “most dominated sector” is awkward, and “loosing it popularity” does not express the intended idea naturally. Spelling errors such as “inrease” also reduce accuracy. Aim for standard graph-description collocations and check spelling; this will help you express comparisons and changes more precisely without relying on repeated general trend phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including clauses linked with “while,” “thereafter,” and “on the other hand.” The overall meaning is generally clear, but some grammatical errors recur. For example, “manufacturing was the most dominated sector” has an incorrect construction, and “It exhibit a dramatic increase” has a tense and sentence-completion problem. There are also issues with articles, capitalization, and number agreement, as in “the economy of united states” and “15 millions.” Sentence boundaries and punctuation need attention, particularly in the overview, where separate ideas are joined with a full stop and a lowercase “while.” Review past-tense forms and plural use with quantities.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.