Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph illustrate number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall its clear that all healthcare and retail showed an increase in jobs. the most noticeable trend is agriculture and manufacturing rapidly fluctuated in these years.

In 1960 manufacturing industry rapidly increase to 15% in 1980. after that this figure is continued fall, reaching just 17% in 2000. this figure gradually decrease to 17% to 6% in 2020. in contrast retailers industry started 5% in 1960 and increase steadily to 15% IN 2000. it then rose further, reaching 16% in 2020 its such a small amount of rise after 2010.

Similarly the agriculture industry 7% in 1960 and after that slowly decline reach at 6% in 1980. this figure are slowly decrease to 3% in 2020 in 40 years this industry slightly goes down. and in last healthcare sector show significant rise in 1960 this sector is produced job 3% but 1960 to 2000 number of jobs reach at 15 million which which is considerable rise recorded . but 2000 to 2020 remained stable reach at 16%

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the four sectors and give a broad overview that healthcare and retail increased, while agriculture declined. However, the overview is partly inaccurate: manufacturing did not fluctuate rapidly; it rose to a peak in 1980 and then fell. Several figures and comparisons are also misreported. For example, manufacturing reached 20 million in 1980, not 15, and fell to 13 million by 2020, not from 17 to 6. Retail began at 6 million, while healthcare rose from 2 to 16 million. The agriculture trend is broadly recognised, but its endpoint is 2 million, not 3. More accurate selection and reporting of key values, alongside a clearer overview of the contrasting trends, would strengthen the response.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sectors. You also use basic linking expressions such as “Overall,” “In contrast,” and “Similarly” to signal relationships. However, progression is weakened by grouping sectors inconsistently and by unclear references such as “this figure,” which can make it difficult to tell which value or sector is being discussed. Some transitions are also awkward, and the final healthcare description repeats “which” and combines several ideas without clear boundaries. Organise the body into clearer comparisons—for example, rising sectors together and declining sectors together—and use precise references to improve the flow.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant vocabulary for describing trends, including “increase,” “decline,” “steadily,” “significant rise,” and “remained stable.” This gives you a basic range for the task, but word choice and collocation are often inaccurate or repetitive. Phrases such as “rapidly fluctuated” do not describe the manufacturing pattern accurately, while “produced job” and “a small amount of rise” are unnatural. Repeated use of “figure” also limits precision. Choose standard chart language such as “the number of jobs,” “rose to,” “peaked at,” and “fell to,” and check spelling and word forms, including “retail” rather than “retailers” when naming the sector.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple statements and longer sentences with contrast, but control is inconsistent, and errors often make the relationships between figures difficult to follow. Examples include “The line graph illustrate,” “manufacturing industry rapidly increase,” and “this figure are slowly decrease,” where subject–verb agreement and verb forms are faulty. Tense use also shifts, as in “started” followed by “increase,” and several sentences lack necessary articles or clear sentence boundaries. Punctuation and capitalisation are inconsistent, particularly in “IN 2000” and the run-on descriptions. Practise accurate past-tense forms and build longer sentences around one clear comparison at a time; this will make your range more effective and easier to understand.

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