Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The line graph illustrates the knowledge about the figure of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the United States from 1960 to 2020. The unit is in million.

Overall, the manufacturing and agriculture sectors saw a downward trend as time passed. While, retail and healthcare goes to top and in the end reached at same point.

In 1960, manufacturing sector has highest numerals at 15 million. Later, it reach at peak of 20 million in 1980 before steady decline that target at about 12 million. As the same phenomenon with agriculture sector it begins from almost 6 million in 1960, and gradually drop down at 2 million by showing only little flactuation in last three time frames.

In contrast, the both retail and healthcare accelerates as compared to two other sectors. Retail sector commense from 5 million and reached at 15 million in 2000, in final it shows only little flactuation at around 16 million. In case of healthcare, it accelerates from 2 million and insert the final point to retail sector.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.5

You identify the main overall contrast: manufacturing and agriculture decline, while retail and healthcare rise, and you note that the latter two finish at the same level. The report also includes several relevant figures, such as manufacturing peaking at 20 million in 1980 and agriculture ending at about 2 million. This gives a clear account of the broad trends. Some details, however, are incomplete or imprecise: healthcare’s rise is not quantified beyond its starting point, and “insert the final point to retail sector” does not clearly report that it reaches about 16 million in 2020. Retail begins at about 6 million, rather than 5 million, and manufacturing ends at about 13 million, not 12 million. More precise comparisons would strengthen the coverage.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and two paragraphs comparing the declining and rising sectors. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and transitions such as “In contrast” help signal the comparison. However, some linking is mechanical or awkward, particularly “As the same phenomenon with agriculture sector” and “In case of healthcare,” which interrupt the flow. The overview’s “While” also creates an incomplete contrast, and “in the end reached at same point” is not fully clear without naming the sectors and their shared endpoint. To improve, use complete, direct comparison sentences and connect each figure to the relevant trend more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of topic vocabulary, including “downward trend,” “peak,” “decline,” and “fluctuation,” and the reader can generally understand the intended trends. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural, which limits precision: “illustrates the knowledge about the figure of jobs,” “goes to top,” “highest numerals,” and “insert the final point to retail sector.” There are also spelling errors, including “flactuation” and “commense.” Aim for standard graph-reporting language and check spelling carefully. For example, describe a sector’s employment level as “the number of jobs,” say that a figure “rose” or “reached” a level, and use “fluctuated” only when the data actually varies rather than remaining broadly stable.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt both simple and more complex forms, including a contrast with “While” and a time clause beginning “before.” The overall meaning is usually recoverable, but some grammatical errors recur. Tense and agreement are inconsistent in “manufacturing sector has” and “retail and healthcare goes”; use past forms consistently for this historical period, such as “had” and “went.” Articles and sentence construction also need attention: “the both retail” should be “both retail and healthcare,” while “While, retail and healthcare goes to top” is not a complete, well-formed sentence. In “it reach at peak,” the verb form and sentence pattern are incorrect. Practise complete clauses and consistent past-tense reporting to make the comparisons more accurate.

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