Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The chart illustrates that the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Overall the chart shows the four categery with different values. In 1960 the healthcare jobs was almost 1 million but in the year of 2000 it was the significant job in the US and the extremley rising with the value was 10 million. The US people was interested in the helathcare jobs due to in jobs were more facilities. In 2020 the value were increased and going to 20 million. At the same the retail job also increased in both,s years started from 5 million in 1960. In 2000 the retail jobs were increased with 15 million and remain constant in 2020. And the manufacuring and agriculture was decline in the years.

The manufacturing jobs were started from the high value like 15 million in the year of 1960 and raisng up in the year of 1980 20 million but suddenly huge decreased in 2000 almost 15 million the value was decreased from high to low and almost 12 million in 2020. At the same the agriculture jobs were also decline in the 2020.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify several relevant trends, including manufacturing peaking in 1980 and then declining, and growth in healthcare and retail. However, the overview is vague (“different values”) and some key comparisons are inaccurate: healthcare was about 2 million in 1960, around 11 million in 2000, and 16 million in 2020—not almost 1, 10, and 20 million. Retail rose from about 6 to 16 million and did not remain constant after 2000. The claim that healthcare became “the significant job” in 2000 is also incorrect, since manufacturing remained higher. The response therefore reports some main features but does not consistently select and describe them accurately. Give a clear overview and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The response has a basic paragraph structure, moving from an introduction and overview to details about manufacturing and agriculture. Some sequencing is understandable, and phrases such as “At the same time” attempt to connect comparisons. However, there is no clear progression through all four sectors: healthcare and retail are discussed together, then manufacturing and agriculture, with some trends repeated or left incomplete. Linking is often mechanical or unclear, as in “At the same the retail job also increased in both,s years,” and the overview does not effectively guide the reader. Organise the body by grouping rising sectors and declining sectors, or describe each series in a consistent chronological order, using accurate transitions.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some task-relevant vocabulary, including “increased,” “decline,” “high value,” and “jobs,” so the general subject is usually identifiable. However, the range is limited and several expressions are imprecise or unnatural, such as “the significant job,” “extremley rising,” and “the value was decreased from high to low.” Repetition of “jobs,” “value,” and “increased” also makes the account less precise. Spelling errors—including “categery,” “helathcare,” and “manufacuring”—are noticeable and reduce clarity. Build a more accurate set of trend verbs and comparison phrases, and check spelling carefully; for example, use “peaked at,” “fell to,” and “rose steadily” where they match the data.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt both simple and longer sentences, but control is inconsistent, and errors frequently make relationships between ideas difficult to follow. Examples include “the number of jobs … between 1960 and 2020” as an incomplete opening clause, “the healthcare jobs was,” and “the value were increased.” Verb forms and agreement are often faulty, while sentence boundaries and punctuation are also problematic, particularly in “At the same time the retail job also increased in both,s years started from 5 million.” Use complete sentences with a clear subject and verb, maintain past tense for the historical data, and check singular/plural agreement. Shorter, accurately punctuated comparisons would improve readability.

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