Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

the line graph shows data about the amount of jobs in US's economy in four sector from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the Healthcare sector and retail facilites shows a constent increase over the years to reach the highest job sectors,at the opposite way manufacturing sector shows a decrease start with the highest job sector reaching the third and the agriculture shows a bit of decrease over and over.

The highest job sectors healthcare and retail start a bit slowly with almost 2 million and 6 million repectivaly to had a peak in 2000, where they gain almost 10 million extra jobs and ending in the same amount with approximatly 16 million total jobs in 2020 overtaking manufactoring facilities.

The interesting sector which is manufacturing that starts with most amount of jobs sector from 15 million at 1960 and reaching a peak of 20 million jobs at 1980 but had a dramatic decrease over the years reaching third place with an approximate of 13 million jobs.

finally the agriculture sector start the same as retail but start deacresing quite slowly and steady ending with approximatly 3 million jobs which is the least sector of all four.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 7.0

You identify the main overall patterns: healthcare and retail rise, manufacturing peaks and then declines, and agriculture falls. The key comparisons are also supported with relevant figures, including manufacturing’s rise from 15 million to 20 million before ending at about 13 million, and healthcare and retail both reaching around 16 million in 2020. This gives the report a clear overview and covers all four sectors. However, some details are inaccurate or imprecise: healthcare reaches about 11 million in 2000, not 10 million extra jobs, and agriculture ends at about 2 million rather than 3 million. The claim that healthcare and retail reach a peak in 2000 is also misleading, since both continue rising to 2020. More precise reporting of these stages would strengthen the account.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a recognisable structure: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the rising sectors and the declining sectors. This makes the main progression easy to follow, and transitions such as “Overall” and “finally” help signal the organisation. The comparison of manufacturing with the other sectors also gives the report a useful focus. However, some linking is awkward or unclear, particularly “at the opposite way” and “to had a peak,” and the long second paragraph combines several trends and comparisons in one sentence. The overview also repeats ideas that are developed immediately afterwards. To improve cohesion, use shorter, clearly grouped sentences and connect each figure directly to the trend it illustrates.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use some relevant task vocabulary, including “peak,” “decrease,” “overtaking,” and “total jobs,” and the reader can generally understand the trends you describe. There is, however, limited precision and noticeable repetition of “jobs,” “sector,” and “amount.” Several word choices or collocations are unnatural, such as “highest job sectors,” “retail facilites,” and “start a bit slowly.” Spelling errors—including “constent,” “repectivaly,” “approximatly,” and “manufactoring”—also reduce accuracy. Aim for a more controlled range of trend language and use standard sector names consistently. For example, describe a sector as having the highest employment, and use “rose steadily” or “declined gradually” rather than less natural phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences and use some subordinate structures, for example when describing manufacturing’s rise to 20 million before its later decline. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and errors in agreement, verb forms, articles, and sentence boundaries occur throughout. Examples include “Healthcare sector and retail facilites shows,” “to had a peak,” and “the agriculture sector start.” The sentence beginning “Overall” also lacks clear grammatical structure, making the relationships between the trends difficult to follow. Punctuation is inconsistent, with missing spaces after commas and a lowercase opening word. Practise building accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using forms such as “while” and “whereas.”

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