Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The illuration given information about the number of jobs in manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare of the economy in the US from 1960 to 2020.

Overall, the highest jobs in manufacturing sector between 1960 and 2000. The lowerest to upward department two sectors retail and healthcare. The downward to agriculture department from1960 to 2000.

In 1960, manufacturing risen 15 millions and other three jobs below 10 millions of jobs. In 1980, Agriculture decreased 3 millions compared to manufacturing, retail and healthcare increased on the past year simiraly in 2000.

In 2000, manufacturing and agriculture down to 15 millions in contract, retail and haeslth care upward to 15 millions of number of jobs.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify the four sectors and the 1960–2020 period, and you attempt to describe broad trends. However, the response only minimally summarises the graph: it gives no clear, accurate overview of the full period and omits the final 2020 figures. Some comparisons are also unclear or inaccurate. For example, manufacturing peaked at 20 million in 1980, not simply remained the highest through 2000; by 2020, retail and healthcare were both about 16 million, above manufacturing. The statement that manufacturing and agriculture were both at 15 million in 2000 is incorrect: manufacturing was about 17 million and agriculture about 3 million. The response is also 38 words below the required minimum, limiting the detail provided. Select the main trends, report key start and end values, and check each figure against the graph.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

There is a basic paragraph structure: an introduction, an attempted overview, and details about selected years. This gives the reader some sense of the response’s purpose. However, progression is weak because the account jumps between years and does not cover the whole period in a clear sequence. The phrase “simiraly in 2000” does not make the relationship between the 1980 and 2000 figures clear, while “In 2000” is followed by a comparison that appears to mix up the data. Linking is limited, and the overview sentences are difficult to connect to the supporting details. Organise the body chronologically or group sectors by trend, and use clear comparisons such as “while” and “by contrast” to show how the lines relate.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant topic vocabulary, including “manufacturing,” “retail,” “agriculture,” “healthcare,” “increased,” and “decreased,” so the reader can recognise the subject. However, the range is limited and several word choices or forms make the meaning difficult to follow. “The illuration given information” is not a clear way to introduce the chart, and “the lowerest to upward department” does not accurately express the trends. There are also spelling errors such as “simiraly” and “haeslth.” Use standard chart language and check spelling carefully. More precise terms such as “number of jobs,” “rose,” “fell,” “peaked,” and “remained stable” would help you describe the data accurately and avoid awkward phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The response attempts several sentence forms, including time-led statements such as “In 1960” and “In 2000,” but control of sentence structure is limited. Frequent errors make some relationships hard to understand. For example, “Overall, the highest jobs in manufacturing sector between 1960 and 2000” is a fragment without a complete verb, and “manufacturing risen 15 millions” has an incorrect verb form and lacks a clear grammatical structure. Articles and prepositions are also often missing or inaccurate, as in “in manufacturing sector” and “compared to manufacturing.” Most sentences need more reliable subject–verb structure and consistent past-tense reporting. Practise complete sentences such as “Manufacturing employment rose to 20 million in 1980, then declined.”

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.