Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The line graph present data about different four professions department of the economy in the us from 1960 to 2020.

First of all, The healthcare and retail fields have significant increasing in the opportunities on the other hand manufacturing and agriculture went stuck from 1980 to 2020 in a different ways the agriculture looks approximately some how constant while the manufacturing decreased slightly in those years.

If we have a look at the healthcare it demonstrate how the escalation that happened in the number of jobs it started below the 5 millions in 1960 and from 1980 to 2020 it raised up to 15 millions without any drops whares the manufacturing information shows that in 1960 it was 15 millions then rise to 20 millions in 1980 after that its edge down.

Agriculture and retail started around 5 millions, but they moved in opposite directions agriculture went down till 1980 after that it slightly stable in contrast the retail surge from 5 to 15 millions during 1960 to 2000 following that its almost unchanged.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.5

You identify the main broad patterns: healthcare and retail rise, while agriculture declines and manufacturing falls after reaching a peak. You also include several relevant figures, such as manufacturing at 15 million in 1960 and 20 million in 1980. However, coverage is partial and some details are inaccurate or unclear. Healthcare reaches about 16 million by 2020, not 15 million, and retail rises to about 16 million in 2020 rather than remaining almost unchanged after 2000. The overview also says manufacturing and agriculture “went stuck,” which obscures their different trends. To strengthen the response, give a clear overview of the final ranking and the major changes, then report accurate start, peak and end figures for each sector.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5

The response has a basic progression from a general overview to descriptions of healthcare/manufacturing and then agriculture/retail. This grouping helps the reader compare related trends, and phrases such as “on the other hand” and “in contrast” show an attempt to connect ideas. However, the progression is not consistently clear: the opening overview combines several trends in a confusing sentence, and some comparisons are difficult to follow because the time periods and subjects shift within long sentences. “If we have a look at the healthcare…” also creates an informal transition rather than a direct report. Use a distinct overview paragraph and organise the details by clear comparisons, with shorter sentences and precise references to each sector.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

You use some relevant trend vocabulary, including “increasing,” “decreased,” “stable,” and “surge,” and the reader can generally identify the sectors being discussed. However, the range is limited and several word choices or collocations are inaccurate, sometimes making the meaning unclear. For example, “professions department” does not naturally describe economic sectors, “went stuck” is not an appropriate trend phrase, and “its edge down” is unclear. There are also spelling errors such as “wh ares” and “some how.” Aim for standard chart language and accurate collocations, such as “employment rose,” “remained stable,” and “declined gradually.” Check spelling and word forms carefully.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You attempt longer sentences with contrast, for example, “Agriculture and retail started around 5 millions, but they moved in opposite directions,” so there is some variety beyond simple statements. However, complex sentences are often faulty, and frequent errors affect clarity. Examples include “The line graph present” (subject–verb agreement), “it started below the 5 millions” (article and number construction), and “from 1980 to 2020 it raised up” (verb form and tense). Several sentences also run together without adequate punctuation, particularly the opening overview. Practise accurate past-tense reporting and sentence boundaries: for example, “Healthcare employment rose from about 2 million in 1960 to 16 million in 2020.”

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