Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The graph below gives information about the number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US between 1960 and 2020.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Number of jobs in four sectors of the economy in the US, 1960-2020

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The provided graphs illustrates data in amount of jobs in US in fours different sectors like manufacturing, retail, agriculture and healthcare. The information given is from [redacted phone].

Overall, agriculture contributes to the least amount of jobs from 1980 and remains at the lowest till 2020.

Firstly, manufacturing has the most amount of jobs in 1960 to 1980. But after 1980 jobs start to decrease from 20 million to almost 15 million in 2000. Afterwards, the graph keeps getting low in 2020 showing less than 15 million jobs.

On the other hand, retail and agriulture has the similar number of jobs in 1960. But both later on have completely different pathways, as employment in retail keep going high to the point that it leaves manufacturing behind in 2020. And agriculture keep going low in 1980 and maintain the lowest position amongst the rest til 2020.

Whereas, healthcare had the least jobs in 1960 with less than 5 million jobs. Over the years, employment kept increasing in next six decades. In year 2020, healthcare and retails holded the most of number of jobs leaving manufacturing and agriculture behind.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

You identify the main patterns: manufacturing peaks in 1980 and then declines, agriculture becomes the smallest sector, and retail and healthcare rise substantially. The overview also correctly notes that retail and healthcare are joint leaders by 2020. Most comparisons are relevant, but some details are imprecise or incomplete. For example, manufacturing falls to about 17 million in 2000, not almost 15 million, and retail and healthcare both reach about 16 million in 2020. The statement that manufacturing has the most jobs “in 1960 to 1980” is unclear because it is not the leader throughout that whole period. Include a few more accurate figures and make the overview’s comparisons more precise.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.0

The response has a clear overall arrangement: an introduction, an overview, and paragraphs describing the sector trends. Linking phrases such as “Overall,” “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “Whereas” help signal shifts between ideas. However, the progression is sometimes mechanical, and the final paragraph repeats the point that agriculture is lowest, already made in the overview and the preceding paragraph. Some references are also unclear: “both later on have completely different pathways” requires the reader to infer which two sectors are meant, while “the graph keeps getting low” does not clearly identify the trend’s subject. Grouping the rising sectors together and the declining sector separately, with fewer repeated points, would make the comparisons flow more smoothly.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.5

You use a reasonable range of task-related vocabulary, including “employment,” “decrease,” “increasing,” and “lowest position,” so the main trends are understandable. There are also attempts at varied phrasing, such as “different pathways” and “leaves manufacturing behind.” However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or awkward: “amount of jobs” is better expressed as “number of jobs,” and “keeps going high” is not a natural way to describe a rising figure. Spelling errors such as “agriulture” and “til” also reduce accuracy. Aim for precise trend language—“rose steadily,” “declined,” or “remained stable”—and check spelling and word forms before finishing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and more complex sentences, including contrast clauses beginning “But” and “Whereas,” and most of the trends remain understandable. Some grammatical errors occur, however. The opening should be “The provided graph illustrates,” rather than “graphs illustrates,” and “retail and agriculture has” needs plural agreement (“have”). In “employment in retail keep going high,” the verb form should agree with the singular subject, while “healthcare and retails holded” contains errors in both agreement and verb form. Articles and sentence construction also need attention in phrases such as “In year 2020.” Practise checking subject–verb agreement, past-tense forms, and complete sentence structure while retaining your attempts at complex comparisons.

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