Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Nowadays, the majority of the younger generation are going abroad for higher studies. And I completely agree with this statement "The trend of going abroad for higher studies is beneficial for all the students" This essay will discuss the benefits of studying abroad.
Firstly, In our country all the students know in this country the education system is not satisfied. Here is only a theory base education.Moreover all the facilities about education are not provided. For instance the students learn in the computer field or in the medical field. The labs are not available for students to practice their lesson. Moreover the teachers are provided to students who are not well educated. As a result the students are not well educated.
Secondly, In our country no jobs are provided to students after their degrees. There is a rare chance of getting a job on private base. In other countries the jobs are provided to students after their degrees with high salary. So the students are going abroad for study and for a higher salary job.
Furthermore in other countries the education system is satisfied and they provide international degrees to students. After getting international degrees the students are able to get jobs anywhere in the world.Hence, it is very beneficial for all students to go abroad for higher studies.
In conclusion the other countries universities provide well education systems with well educated teachers, and also they provide labs for experiment, international degrees and jobs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for an opinion on building tall apartment blocks to solve housing shortages in large cities, but the essay discusses the benefits of studying abroad. Because the student failed to address the task prompt entirely, the response is considered irrelevant. Furthermore, the essay is under the 250-word minimum requirement, which further impacts the score. To improve, you must carefully read the prompt and ensure your arguments directly address the specific question asked rather than writing a pre-memorized essay on a different topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
While the essay uses basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Furthermore', the logical progression is undermined by the fact that the content does not relate to the prompt. Paragraphing is present, but the ideas within the paragraphs are repetitive and lack depth. The transition between ideas is mechanical, and the overall structure does not support a coherent argument regarding the actual task. To improve, focus on organizing your ideas around the specific topic provided and ensure that each paragraph contributes to a clear, central thesis statement.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, relying on basic terms such as 'good', 'well educated', and 'provided'. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or an awareness of collocation. Phrases like 'on private base' and 'well education systems' are unnatural and indicate a lack of precision. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including topic-specific terminology and more sophisticated synonyms, while ensuring that your word choices are accurate and appropriate for an academic context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the education system', 'the computer field'), subject-verb agreement, and word order. For example, 'the teachers are provided to students who are not well educated' is awkward and grammatically imprecise. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas after introductory phrases. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses and conditional sentences, and proofread carefully to eliminate basic errors in articles and prepositions.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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