Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The line graph illustrates that opportunities in four sectors (manufacturing, retail, agricultural and healthcare) of the financial system in the US from 1960 to 2020.
Overall, the number of job in healthcare sector was increased steadily which start from 2.5 million jobs in 1960 and reached to 15 million in 2020, while opportunities in agricultual field continuously decreased.
In manufacturing sector, it jumped 15 million to 20 million from 1960 to 1980 respectively, but in 1980 it droped and reach to 15.2 million in 2000 and after that it fall sharply to 1 million in 2020. In agricultural sector, it dropped from 5.1 million to 3million from 1960 to 1980 respectively, but in 1980 it slumped from 3 million to 2 million from 1980 to 2020.
The opportunities in healthcare and retail sectors was highest during the year 1960 to 2020. In healthcare, it increases from 2 million in 1960 to 15.1 million in 2020 which is increases gradually. In retail, it increases steadily from 5.1 million in 1960 to 15 million in 2000 after that it grew from 15 to 15.1 in 2020.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 3.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0
The student has written an essay about employment sectors based on a line graph, but there is a major problem with task alignment. The prompt given in the instructions actually asks about whether tall apartment blocks are the best way to provide homes in large cities. The student has written about a completely different topic (employment sectors in the US from a line graph), indicating a severe task mismatch. Furthermore, the response contains only 184 words, severely failing the 250-word minimum requirement for Task 2. Because the student addressed a Task 1 prompt instead of the assigned Task 2 topic and failed the length requirement, this results in a very low band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0
The response is organized into paragraphs with some overall structure, attempting an introduction, body paragraphs, and an overview. However, the cohesion is often mechanical and awkward, as seen with repetitive phrasing like 'In manufacturing sector... In agricultural sector...'. Reference words and cohesive devices are poorly managed, and the paragraphing does not reflect a logical progression appropriate for a well-structured essay. While there is an attempt to group information, the overall arrangement feels disjointed and repetitive, leading to a weak score in this criterion.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on words like 'opportunities', 'sector', 'increased', and 'dropped'. There are numerous collocation and word choice errors, such as 'number of job' instead of 'number of jobs', and 'agricultual' (spelling error). The range of vocabulary is limited and minimally adequate for conveying simple trends, but it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands. Words are frequently reused rather than paraphrased or substituted with synonyms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but these attempts are frequently flawed by grammatical errors. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues like 'the number of job... was increased steadily' and 'The opportunities in healthcare and retail sectors was highest'. There are also tense and form errors such as 'start from', 'reach to', and 'droped'. These frequent errors cause difficulty for the reader and demonstrate poor control over basic sentence construction and verb forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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