Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

IN THIS MODERAN ERA , CITIES ARE CROUDED DAY BY DAY , WHICH CREATE A PROBLE SHORTAGE OF HOUSING . SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IT CAN BE SOLVED BY BUILDING APARTMENTS IN LARGE CITIES , HOWEVER OTHE OPPOSE THIS NOTION AND SAY IT CANOT SOLVE PROBLEM . I STRONGLY AGREE , CONSTRUCTING SKYSCAPERS ON THE PLACE OF HOUSES CAN SOLVE IT ,CAN REDUCE THE TRAFIC CONGISTION FROM THE ROAD .BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE THOSE ARE COMING FROM COUNTRY SIDE AREAS COME IN BIG CITIES FOR WORK THEY USE DIFFERENT TRANSPOTATION , WHICH INCREAS TRAFICK .AS A RESULT THIS CAN BE SOLVED BY PROVING TALL APARTMENTS IN CITIES. MOREOVER , LARGE CITIES ARE MORE CROUDED AND THERE IS LESS SPACE TO BUILD NEW HOUSES . IF GOVERENMENT CONSTRUCTING SINGLE STORY BUILDINGS THEN THEY NEED MORE LAND , WHICH LEAD DEFORSTATION AND DESTROY HOMES OF THOUSAND WILDANIMALS.THIS CAN CAUSE OF NATURAL DIGSTARE LIKE FLOOD OR SOIL EROSION. SO, BEST WAY IS TO SOLVE THIS MAKING MULTY STORY BUILDING.

IN CONCLUSION , ALTHOUGH LIVING IN HOUSE ALLOW PEOPLE TO DO CHANGE ACCOUDING TO THERE OWN CHOOISE , APARTMENTS CAN SAVE ENVIRONMENT BY USING LESS SPACE FOR MANY PEOPLES .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The student attempts to address the prompt by expressing a clear position in favour of building tall apartment blocks to solve housing shortages. However, the response fails to meet the minimum length requirement, containing only 195 words instead of the required 250 words. Because of this significant under-length issue, the ideas are under-developed and lack sufficient extension and support. Although the writer mentions traffic congestion and environmental protection, these points remain superficial and brief. Consequently, the task response is incomplete, which heavily impacts the overall assessment under this criterion. To improve, the student must expand their ideas with detailed explanations, specific examples, and ensure the word count exceeds the 250-word minimum.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0

The essay displays a basic structure with an introduction, a body paragraph, and a brief conclusion, though the paragraphing is somewhat cramped due to the short length. Ideas are linked using basic cohesive devices such as 'HOWEVER', 'MOREOVER', and 'IN CONCLUSION'. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by poor referencing and abrupt transitions, such as 'THIS CAN CAUSE OF NATURAL DIGSTARE LIKE FLOOD OR SOIL EROSION. SO, BEST WAY IS TO SOLVE THIS MAKING MULTY STORY BUILDING.' While overall meaning can generally be deciphered, the mechanical and sometimes inaccurate use of cohesive ties prevents the text from achieving a higher band score. Improving sentence-to-sentence connections and ensuring clear paragraph divisions will greatly enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring frequent spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'MODERAN', 'CROUDED', 'PROBLE', 'OTHE', 'CANOT', 'TRAFIC', 'CONGISTION', 'TRANSPOTATION', 'INCREAS', 'TRAFICK', 'PROVING', 'GOVERENMENT', 'CONSTRUCTING', 'DEFORSTATION', 'WILDANIMALS', 'DIGSTARE', 'MULTY', 'ACCOUDING', and 'CHOOISE'. The student attempts some less common vocabulary items like 'DEFORSTATION' and 'CONGISTION', but spelling mistakes and awkward word choices heavily constrain the lexical range. To improve, the student needs to focus heavily on basic spelling conventions, expand their productive vocabulary, and practice correct word formation and collocations to ensure clearer communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The essay exhibits a very limited range of grammatical structures. While the student attempts a few complex sentences, such as 'BECAUSE WHEN PEOPLE THOSE ARE COMING FROM COUNTRY SIDE AREAS COME IN BIG CITIES FOR WORK THEY USE DIFFERENT TRANSPOTATION', these attempts are heavily flawed and ungrammatical. There are frequent and systematic errors in basic punctuation, subject-verb agreement, verb forms, and articles, for example, 'CITIES ARE CROUDED DAY BY DAY , WHICH CREATE A PROBLE SHORTAGE OF HOUSING' and 'IF GOVERENMENT CONSTRUCTING SINGLE STORY BUILDINGS'. These errors constantly strain the reader and obscure meaning. To achieve a higher score, the student must practice constructing accurate simple sentences before attempting complex clauses, paying close attention to tense consistency and structural completeness.

See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.

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