Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
Here we discuss about best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartments block. My oppinion is that build tall,neat and clean apartments where people enjoy their life with happiness and joy but the reasson is that some people are happy to live in big and neat home where they planting with your own intrust and enjoy their privacy seprately but in the present era most of the peoples are move in tall appartments to live the life where they offer us to beatiful lobby and the great and peaceful restaurent,cafe where we enjoy our weekends and family events together.
like we enjoy birthday parties under the one roof and also tall appartments offer a big and joyful playing area for the children and also many other activities where we uttilize our time and also children enjoy there life with ful of joy and happines so that is the main reason peoples live in appartments rather than the homes. In appartments we also find many types of cafe,theater,and many types of games like table tennis,badmintion, indoor cricket club etc. and also we find many diffrent types of friends which is also play and enjoy their beautiful life here with family.
and also the main reason is that now a days appartments are very secure and beautiful place for live and the growth of our children who educate with all the time of their life and also in the appartments in summer their is swimmind classes held by the appartments managment.So this is my thoughts.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 5.0
The response touches upon the prompt by discussing whether tall apartment blocks are the best way to provide homes in large cities. However, the development of ideas is heavily constrained by repetitive listing of amenities like cafes, swimming classes, and games. The writer attempts to present a personal opinion, stating that people increasingly prefer apartments due to security and communal facilities, but the overall task is only partially addressed. The arguments lack academic depth and rely heavily on personal lifestyle preferences rather than addressing broader urban planning considerations. Consequently, this falls under Band 5, where ideas are limited, under-developed, and the position is not always clearly sustained throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0
The essay displays severe organisational flaws. The entire text is essentially a single, massive run-on paragraph with no distinct introduction, body paragraphs, or conclusion. This lack of appropriate paragraphing severely disrupts the logical flow and progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are either missing or misused, relying on repetitive additive connectors like 'and also' repeatedly throughout the text. Reference pronouns are often ambiguous, making it difficult to follow the relationships between ideas. Although there is an overall attempt to group thoughts around apartment living, the lack of structural mechanics and clear logical progression limits the score to Band 4.
Lexical Resource: Band 4.0
The vocabulary used is basic, repetitive, and heavily constrained. Words like 'happy', 'life', 'enjoy', and 'apartment' are used excessively. There are numerous word choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'planting with your own intrust', 'move in tall appartments to live the life where they offer us', and 'swimmind classes'. Spelling errors are also present, including 'oppinion', 'reasson', 'seprately', 'appartments', and 'uttilize'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey a basic topic, the frequent errors and restricted range place it firmly at Band 4.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
Grammatically, the essay is extremely weak. It consists largely of run-on sentences joined by coordinating conjunctions like 'and' or 'so', lacking proper punctuation and terminal stops for extended stretches. There is a lack of control over complex structures, and basic grammatical rules are frequently violated, such as subject-verb agreement ('peoples are move', 'swimmind classes held') and tense consistency. Punctuation is virtually absent except for a few commas. These frequent errors cause significant strain for the reader and reflect Band 4 descriptor standards.
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