Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Yeah, I think so in the large cities building the tall apartment is helpful for us. In this rapidly evolving world, we can see a significant increase in debate with build tall apartments. This growing debate has sparked widespread concerns about the potential global impact. This essay will explore the positives and negatives of build tall apartments in a forthright manner.

First, there are some clear benefits to embracing the ideas of building tall apartments. It is not just about making society better, It could also lead to significant improvements in people's lives worldwide. Following this path could result in increasing success, efficiency, and an overall better quality of life for individuals across various social ecnomic backgrounds.

Another, crucial aspect to consider is how tall apartments can help individuals grow and excel in different areas of life. By embracing these principles, people could acquire new skills, deepen their commitment, to personal and professional development, and achieve a more fulfiling life.

Moreover, it is heartening to see proactive efforts being made by authorties, such as pakistani government to educate citizens about the potential downsides of making tall apartments. Through education and awareness initiatives, they are encourging everyone to abide by regulations, to ensure societal prosperity and foster apositive global environment.

In conclusion, while there are valid concerns about the effects of making tall apartments. There is also an opportunity for social improvements for social improvements and individual advancement, if we approach it with wisdom and foresight. At the last, In my opinion making big or tall apartments is very helpfull for our society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

The response addresses the task only minimally and tangentially, which places it at the lower end of the scale. While the writer attempts to discuss tall apartment blocks in large cities, the main position remains unclear throughout much of the essay. Instead of focusing directly on urban housing shortages, land scarcity, or the social and economic implications of high-rise living, the writing drifts into vague statements about 'social improvements', 'individual advancement', and general personal development. Furthermore, the supporting ideas are heavily repetitive and lack specific examples or logical extension. For instance, paragraphs two and three speak abstractly about increasing success and acquiring new skills rather than addressing the actual prompt about providing homes in large cities. To improve, the writer must ensure that every paragraph directly answers the prompt with concrete arguments and relevant real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The essay displays some organization with a recognizable introduction and conclusion, but it suffers from a lack of clear overall progression. Paragraphing is attempted, but the links between ideas feel disjointed and mechanical. Cohesive devices are either repetitive or used inaccurately, such as the abrupt transition 'Another, crucial aspect' or the fragmented sentence structure in the concluding paragraph. Referencing is also occasionally unclear; phrases like 'embracing these principles' or 'following this path' are introduced without a clear antecedent to explain what specific course of action is being referenced. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to ensure that ideas flow logically from one sentence to the next, using referencing words and transitional phrases naturally to guide the reader smoothly through a well-structured argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is of a limited and minimally adequate range for the task. The student attempts to use some less common words, such as 'forthright', 'proactive', and 'prosperity', but these attempts are frequently marred by awkward word choices, inappropriate collocations, and spelling mistakes like 'ecnomic', 'authorties', 'encourging', and 'apositive'. Furthermore, there is heavy repetition of basic phrases such as 'building tall apartments' and 'making tall apartments', which restricts the lexical variety of the piece. Some errors, such as 'social ecnomic backgrounds' and 'making big or tall apartments', cause noticeable difficulty for the reader and strain comprehension. To achieve a higher score, the writer must expand their vocabulary range, pay closer attention to standard word forms and spelling, and select precise terminology suited to an academic discussion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

The grammatical range is quite limited, relying mostly on simple sentences alongside poorly controlled complex structures. Frequent errors in grammar and punctuation appear throughout the text, including punctuation errors like comma splices and missing commas, incorrect verb forms in phrases like 'with build tall apartments' and 'of build tall apartments', and faulty preposition use. Additionally, there are issues with sentence fragments and run-on structures, particularly visible in the final paragraph where multiple independent clauses are improperly punctuated. These frequent errors cause occasional difficulty for the reader in parsing the intended meaning. To improve grammatically, the writer should practice forming complex sentences accurately, ensure correct verb patterns after prepositions, and refine their control over basic punctuation rules.

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