Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

According to the statement,the better way to taken enough homes in large cities is to build long apartment blocks.

In my opinion, i agree this statement to build long apartment blocks. From my knowledge and experience, it is better to build tall apartment blocks. I explain the few reasons in the second paragraph.

The first reason, many families who live in cities. Because the children get better education in cities.Therefore, this famlies need to the simple and large apartment. So, this tall apartment is better then famlies. Second of all, many citizens who do not needs to the enough homes.They needs to the apartment. So, the second reason, many individuals and scholars travel large cities and enjoy the friends and chill together. So, this individuals and students needs to the apartment for few days.He does not pay for the home. He only pay rent for the apartment.

On the other hand, the third reason, many people who submit the passport in many diverse ambassey. So, many time ambasssey waiting people taken the passport. So, this reason was people needs to the tall apartment for one or two days. He lived in only two days and pay for the apartment.Therefore, reasons citizens needs to the tall apartment. And lived in the apartment.

To sum up, i argue to build tall apartment blocks. Because many people who needs apartment in large cities. And many officers duty in large cities. So, they officers needs to the apartment. It is better than way to provide enough homes in large cities.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

The response attempts to address the prompt regarding tall apartment blocks in large cities, presenting a clear position of agreement. However, the ideas remain very limited and under-developed throughout the essay. For instance, the arguments regarding education, visiting individuals, and embassy passport collection are weakly linked to the core issue of urban housing supply and lack sufficient expansion or relevant supporting details. While the writer touches upon the general topic, the supporting points are repetitive and fail to thoroughly explore the advantages or disadvantages of high-rise developments. To move to a higher level, the writer needs to present fully developed, relevant main ideas supported by well-reasoned explanations and concrete examples rather than relying on tangential points.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.5

The text demonstrates some basic organisation, utilizing paragraph breaks to separate different points, though the overall progression of ideas lacks clarity. Cohesive devices are used repetitively and sometimes inaccurately, such as the frequent reliance on 'So', 'Therefore', and 'Second of all', which creates a mechanical feel rather than a smooth logical flow. Referencing is also occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the exact relationship between sentences. To improve cohesion, the writer should employ a wider and more accurate range of linking words and ensure that each paragraph transitions naturally into the next to build a cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, heavily relying on simple terms such as 'homes', 'cities', 'apartment', and 'people'. There are noticeable lexical errors, including inappropriate word choices and word forms, such as 'taken enough homes', 'long apartment blocks', and 'ambassey'. These errors and the restricted vocabulary range cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect a limited resource. To achieve a higher score, the writer needs to incorporate a wider range of less common vocabulary with greater precision, paying closer attention to word choice, collocation, and correct spelling.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

The writing displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mainly of simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex forms that are largely faulty. There are persistent errors in verb forms, tense usage, articles, and prepositions inside grammatical patterns, such as in 'i agree this statement', 'many citizens who do not needs', and 'He does not pay'. Punctuation and subject-verb agreement errors are also frequent throughout the response and often strain meaning. To reach the next level, the writer must demonstrate better control over basic grammatical structures, reduce the frequency of errors, and successfully incorporate a wider variety of accurate complex sentence forms.

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