Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

The best way to provide enough homes in large cities is to build tall apartment blocks.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

IN RECENT TIMES, THE GROWING POPULATION IS A CONCERNING ISSUE, WHICH NEEDS IMMEDIATE ATTENTION. SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT IN BIG CITIES, BUILDING MULTI-STOREY BUILDINGS IS THE APPROPRIATE WAY TO PROVIDE SUFFICIENT HOMES, AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS STATEMENT.

IN MEGA CITIES, EVERY YEAR A LOT OF PEOPLE COME FROM RURAL AREAS IN SEARCH OF BETTER JOB OPPORTUNITIES, GOOD LIFESTYLE, OR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES. IT CREATES A HEAVY LOAD ON THE ENVIRONMENT, AND CITIES HAVE LIMITED LAND, WHICH IS NOT SUFFICIENT TO PROVIDE SHELTER FOR AN ENORMOUS CROWD. TALL APARTMENTS OR BLOCKS CAN PROVIDE HOUSING FOR HUNDREDS OF FAMILIES TOGETHER. SECONDLY, SKYSCRAPERS ARE BUILT WITH MODERN TECHNOLOGY AND HIGH-TECH SECURITY SYSTEMS, WHICH ARE POPULAR NOWADAYS AMONG PEOPLE BECAUSE THEY DO NOT NEED TO SPEND EXTRA MONEY ON SECURITY SYSTEMS.

HOWEVER, THE BIGGEST DRAWBACK OF LARGE BUILDINGS IS THAT THEY FEEL CRAMPED AND CONGESTED. THERE IS NO TOUCH OF NATURE; IT LOOKS LIKE A CONCRETE JUNGLE MORE THAN A HOME. MOREOVER, CHILDREN SUFFER A LOT PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY BECAUSE THEY CANNOT GO OUTSIDE TO PLAY, WHICH LEADS TO PHYSICAL PROBLEMS LIKE OBESITY AND INCREASES THEIR SCREEN TIME, WHICH IS UNHEALTHY TOO. IN CITIES, CRIME RATES ARE ALWAYS HIGH THAT'S WHY PARENTS FEAR SENDING THEIR CHILDREN TO THE OUTSIDE PLAYGROUND.

IN CONCLUSION, IN BIG CITIES, CONSTRUCTING MULTI-STOREYED BUILDINGS HAS SOME DRAWBACKS, BUT I BELIEVE THIS PROBLEM CAN BE OVERCOME OVER TIME. IN FACT, NOW MANY DEVELOPMENT COMPANIES CONSTRUCT THEIR LARGE BUILDING WITH A MODERN TOUCH AND WITH NATURAL ELEMENTS. MOREOVER, A LOT OF APARTMENTS HAVE THEIR OWN PLAYGROUND FOR CHILDREN WHERE THEY CAN PLAY WITHOUT ANY THREAT. SO I THINK IT'S A GOOD WAY TO PROVIDE HOMES IN LARGE CITIES.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0

Your position is clear from the introduction: you totally agree that tall apartment blocks are an appropriate way to provide homes. You give relevant reasons, including limited urban land and the capacity of high-rise housing, and you acknowledge drawbacks such as congestion and limited outdoor space before explaining how playgrounds and natural features may help. This addresses the task, but some points are more fully developed than others. For example, the claim that high-tech security saves residents money is asserted without an example or explanation, and the discussion of children’s health and crime could be linked more directly to whether tall blocks are the best solution. Develop each main reason with a specific example and clarify why it supports your position.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 6.5

The response has a clear overall structure: an introduction, a paragraph supporting high-rise housing, a paragraph presenting disadvantages, and a conclusion that returns to your position. Linking expressions such as “Secondly,” “However,” and “In conclusion” help readers follow the argument, and the ideas within each paragraph are generally related. To make the progression more fluent, reduce reliance on these explicit transitions and connect claims more precisely. For instance, the move from children’s lack of outdoor play to parents’ fear of crime is understandable but would benefit from a clearer explanation of how these points relate. The conclusion also introduces development companies and playgrounds quite suddenly; previewing or developing these solutions earlier would make the essay feel more integrated.

Lexical Resource: Band 6.0

You use an adequate range of topic-related vocabulary, including “limited land,” “shelter,” “skyscrapers,” “security systems,” and “concrete jungle.” These choices make the main ideas clear, and you attempt some less common expressions. However, several word choices or collocations are imprecise, such as “a concerning issue,” “good lifestyle,” “educational purposes,” and “multi-storeyed buildings.” “Heavy load on the environment” is also unclear in this context, since the point appears to be pressure on urban resources. Aim for more natural, precise phrasing and avoid repeating broad terms such as “big cities” and “large buildings.” More accurate collocations would make your argument sound more controlled without requiring unnecessarily complex vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including relative clauses (“which needs immediate attention”) and cause-and-effect structures (“which leads to physical problems”). Most sentences communicate the intended meaning, but some grammatical errors remain. For example, “crime rates are always high that’s why parents fear” joins two independent clauses without suitable punctuation or a conjunction; “crime rates are high, so parents fear…” would be clearer. There are also agreement and article issues in “many development companies construct their large building,” and the phrase “multi-storeyed buildings” is not formed correctly for this context. Review sentence boundaries, singular/plural agreement, and article use. Greater accuracy in these areas, alongside your existing complex structures, would strengthen the writing.

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