Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The plans below show a college cafe before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The plans below show a college cafe before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The map illustrates a college cafe before it was rebuilt and how it shows its beauty.We have to illustrate the look of the school cafe by comparing the both maps and also have to tell how it looks after redesigned.
The cafe before renew was looking good and charming but after get changing in its structure its shows a present sight.Firstly, The kitchen was at roof top before it redesigned but after its construction, it don't gain any change in it. One floor down then of kitchen, there was a serving area of all food and all kind of drinks but after made changes in building, it was changed into hot meals.Its staff dining room where all staff and workers of cafe taking rest and get a sleep also changes into take away food and coffee bar. School also add a salad bar bar in cafe which was not provide in the previous building. Its sitting area and toilets was at the same place.Cafe also add barbecue parties in it which people like the most and enjoy it at midnight.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to describe the changes to the cafe, but it fails to provide an accurate summary of the visual information. Several claims are factually incorrect based on the provided plans, such as the kitchen being on the 'roof top' or the addition of 'barbecue parties', which are not depicted in the diagrams. The overview is missing, and the description of the changes is confusing and inaccurate. To improve, you must focus strictly on the information presented in the diagrams and avoid adding external information or personal opinions. A clear overview highlighting the main changes, such as the expansion of the seating area or the relocation of the kitchen, is essential for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response is difficult to follow due to a lack of logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often misused, such as the repetitive use of 'after' and 'before' without clear structural links. The introduction is also problematic as it includes instructions to the reader rather than summarizing the map. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and use linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'in contrast' to connect your ideas more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, often relying on basic or incorrect terminology. Phrases like 'before renew' and 'after get changing' are grammatically incorrect and demonstrate a lack of control over word choice. There is also evidence of word-level errors, such as 'salad bar bar' and 'get a sleep'. To improve, focus on learning collocations related to describing changes, such as 'relocated', 'expanded', 'converted', or 'remained unchanged'. Expanding your range of descriptive adjectives and verbs will help you convey the information more precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with verb tenses ('before it redesigned', 'it don't gain any change'), subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or awkwardly phrased, making the text difficult to read. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, particularly the use of the passive voice, which is essential for describing changes in diagrams (e.g., 'The kitchen was moved' instead of 'the kitchen was at roof top'). Regular practice with subject-verb agreement and tense consistency is highly recommended.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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