Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-21
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The plans below show a college cafe before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The plans below show a college cafe before it was redesigned and how it looks now.
Student answer (Band 4.5)
A cafe with old style looking average.It can be made as beautiful according to today's era.It has many problems.e.g kitchen area is very small.Cook face many problems to make food,most of the area is covered by serving section causing many problems.Secondly,there is a big area allotted to staff making cafe less spacious.It has very less options of cuisine.The overall design is old style
if we redesign it,we can make it way more better. We can transform serving area into hot meal area.We can also introduce new items e.g barbeque e.t.c .If we make sperate sections for take away and introduce a coffee bar,we can make our cafe famous.We made a outdoor dining area due to which customer is enjoying his meal with outside view.The overall looks of the cafe are chnged making the cafe looks like new.Introducing new section make it easy for staff to carry out all work easily
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5
The response attempts to describe the changes shown in the two maps, but it struggles significantly with the formal register and objective reporting style required for Academic Task 1. Instead of providing an objective summary of visual information, the student writes personal opinions and critiques like "It can be made as beautiful according to today's era" and "if we redesign it, we can make it way more better." Furthermore, while some features like the hot meal area, takeaway, coffee bar, and outdoor seating are mentioned, the descriptions are highly subjective and conversational. To achieve a higher band score, the response must maintain an objective tone and systematically report the physical changes shown on the plans rather than offering advice or critique.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The text is divided into two brief paragraphs corresponding to the two maps, which provides a basic organisational structure. However, logical progression is weak due to abrupt shifts between ideas and sentences. Cohesive devices are minimal, mechanical, or used inappropriately (e.g., "Secondly", "if we redesign it"). Additionally, pronoun referencing is occasionally unclear, such as shifting between first-person plural ("we can make") and third-person perspectives. Paragraphing is attempted, but internal cohesion requires better transitional phrases and logical linking of spatial details.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, with several informal expressions unsuitable for an academic task, such as "old style looking average" and "way more better." There are also awkward collocations and word forms, such as "Cook face many problems" instead of chefs facing difficulties, and spelling/capitalisation errors (e.g., "sperate", "barbeque", "chnged"). While the student attempts to name some specific features from the prompts like "serving area", "take away", and "coffee bar", the overall lexical range remains limited and inadequate for precision.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The text displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying heavily on simple sentences with frequent structural errors. There are numerous punctuation and spacing errors throughout the text (e.g., missing spaces after periods and commas, such as "average.It can"). Grammatical errors include tense inconsistencies (shifting between present and past inappropriately, such as "We made a outdoor dining area"), missing articles ("a outdoor dining area", "the cafe looks like new"), and subject-verb agreement issues ("Cook face"). These errors frequently cause strain for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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