Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 4.0)
In today era, individuals choose to run their own business instead of working for companies and organisation.It is because they will earn higher income and also has disadvantages will discuss below.
On the one hand, In 21st century people are preferring to work by themselves to earn good money with the flexibility of time. While working under companies has fixed salaries and they have to work for many hours under pressure of their boss, and In their own business they will find their own clients and they can provide them better deals from which they will make their own name and earn good money . For example, the people who work by themselves has settled their business and earning money which has totally changed their way of living their lifestyles.
On the other hand, running their own business has disadvantage of risk factor, because sometimes there are up and downs in market we are not able to get much clients, which will led them to face so many problems and they have to pay by their pockets to run their expense of their company even the pays of employe. For example , many truck drivers start working by themselves running their own companies and when the prices of oil went up and they do not get good loads form brokers then they have to pay from their pockets.In end they shut their business.
To conclude, working as a self employed has option earning higher income with flexibility of time. But it has big disadvantage of risk in failure of business in up and downs.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 2.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 2.0
The response presents a significant issue regarding task relevance. The student wrote an essay about whether individuals should run their own business versus working for companies, which completely ignores the actual prompt about whether theatres and cinemas are still important in the digital age. According to the band descriptors, when a response is off-topic, Task Achievement is heavily penalised because the candidate has failed to address the prompt. Although the student attempts to present two opposing views and a conclusion, the ideas do not relate to the given task of discussing the economic and cultural importance of cinemas and theatres versus online entertainment. Therefore, the task response cannot receive a passing band score. Awarded a band score of 2.0 based on the lack of engagement with the specific topic provided in the instructions.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.0
Despite being completely off-topic, the student demonstrates a basic structural organisation typical of a standard essay format. There is a clear attempt at paragraphing, with an introduction, two body paragraphs presenting contrasting views, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'To conclude' are utilised to signal the progression of ideas, even if the content itself is entirely misaligned with the prompt. However, referencing and pronoun use are occasionally faulty, as seen in phrases like 'which will led them' and repetitive referencing of 'their own business'. Cohesion is sometimes mechanical and intrusive. When evaluated on the language actually produced, the coherence warrants a band score of 5.0.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.0
The lexical resource displayed is limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on basic vocabulary and frequent word recycling, such as 'business', 'money', 'work', and 'company'. There are noticeable lexical errors and awkward word formations, including 'In today era' instead of 'In today's era', 'employe' instead of 'employees', and 'In end' instead of 'In the end'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey the writer's alternative argument about self-employment, the lack of precise academic terms and the presence of basic spelling and word-choice errors restrict the score. The range is minimally adequate for expressing basic concepts, fitting the criteria for a band score of 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, with a high frequency of errors throughout the text. The student attempts some complex sentences, but they are frequently faulty, such as in 'It is because they will earn higher income and also has disadvantages will discuss below' and 'the people who work by themselves has settled their business and earning money which has totally changed...'. Subject-verb agreement errors are pervasive (e.g., 'individuals choose... and also has', 'people who work... has settled', 'prices of oil went up and they do not get'). Punctuation is also problematic, with missing apostrophes and spaces before commas. These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader, placing the grammar at a band score of 4.0.
See this exact question answered at other band scores. The same prompt compared across bands.
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