Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-10-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

Some people say that in the digital age, theatres and cinemas are no longer important as people can watch all the entertainment they want online. Others argue that theatres and cinemas are still important both economically and culturally.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Some people argue that, in this vertual time cinemas and theatres are not essential as much because the most of the people watch there perspective thing online, in cuntrat others believe that theatres and cinemas are still play a vital rule in finaincial and traditional. I personaly , think that both are correct in their won perspective but, in opinion the online access is more well and because its cheaper.

Firstly, the people those believe in watching online vebsites, instead of going to cinemas and rhearers are totally righte on their point of view. because in this contemporary world the technolgies become more advanced where people can find it very easy to watch in their homes. For instance, in pakistan almost all peope le are interested in watching dramas on social media plaforms because it consderably save their time. Furtheremore, the online activities normaly cheaper and more convenient than goig to sinemas.

Secondly, the individual who considerd that sinemas ans theaters and important the economic and culture, partilay agree with them because going to sinemas play a golden rule to communicate wit each others.

In my opinion, online recources are most

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.0

You identify both perspectives and state a preference for online entertainment, noting that it is cheaper and convenient. The Pakistan example about watching dramas also gives some relevant support. However, the discussion is only minimally developed: the economic and cultural importance of cinemas is mentioned, but the sentence about communicating with others does not explain how theatres contribute economically or culturally, and the response ends mid-sentence (“In my opinion, online recources are most”). Your position is therefore not fully established or supported, and the task’s two views are not discussed in balanced detail. The response is also 59 words below the required minimum. Develop each side with a clear reason and example, then complete your conclusion and state your view directly.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

There is an attempt to organise the response into an introduction and two body paragraphs, using “Firstly” and “Secondly” to signal the opposing views. This gives the reader a basic sense of direction. However, the progression is difficult to follow because ideas are not fully connected or completed: the second body paragraph contains only one brief point, and the final sentence stops after “online recources are most.” Some transitions, such as “because” after a full stop, are also awkwardly placed, while the opening sentence combines several contrasting ideas without clear separation. Use one paragraph for each view, develop each point in a logical sequence, and add a complete conclusion that links back to your position.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You attempt vocabulary relevant to the topic, including “contemporary world,” “advanced,” “convenient,” and “economic and culture.” These choices show an effort to discuss technology and the social role of entertainment. However, spelling errors and inaccurate word choices are frequent enough to strain the reader in places, for example “vertual,” “cuntrat,” “finaincial,” and “rhearers.” Some phrases are also unclear or unnatural, such as “watch there perspective thing” and “play a golden rule.” Aim for accurate, natural collocations rather than using ambitious wording without checking its meaning. Proofread spelling carefully and build a small set of reliable topic phrases, such as “stream films” and “support local employment.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0

You make some attempts to use complex sentences, particularly when giving reasons with “because” and adding an example with “For instance.” The basic meaning is often recoverable, and you use present-tense forms to discuss general trends. However, the range is limited and errors are frequent, sometimes making relationships between ideas unclear. For example, “the most of the people watch” has an incorrect determiner, while “the technologies become more advanced where people can find it very easy” has problems with clause structure and pronoun reference. There are also sentence-boundary and punctuation issues, including “because” beginning a sentence after a full stop. Practise accurate simple sentences first, then combine them with controlled clauses using “because,” “while,” and “although.”

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