Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-11

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This is the process of rain-shadow deserts by that information they shows us how rain comes and what kind of changes are done. At first the wind approaches the sea and the the wind is pushed upwards the moister in the air rises and cools up and the clouds forms. Then rain falls the dry air continues over the mountain that air completes over thousands of kiolometers and the wind dry and reaches in land areas where the rain come and the rain shadow desert. By that proces the rain comes on the land. This is the process by which ways rai produced and come to land and the rain-shadow desert in made.The process is very simple the rain come to the sea level and the moister of sea mix in it and they made clouds and then the water fall from them and then its wiperd on the land.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 4.5

You identify the topic and include several central stages: wind approaches, rises over the mountain, cools, clouds form, rain falls, and dry air continues inland. This shows a basic understanding of the diagram. However, the account is only a minimal summary: it does not clearly explain the contrast between the wet windward side and the dry leeward side, or give a clear overview of how this creates a desert inland. Some statements are unclear or inaccurate, such as “the rain come to the sea level” and “the rain come” in the desert area; the diagram shows rain falling on the mountain’s windward side, while dry winds reach the inland desert. Focus on accurately describing that cause-and-effect sequence and avoid adding unsupported claims about rain reaching the land generally.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 4.0

The response follows some of the diagram’s sequence, using “At first” and “Then” to move from approaching winds to rainfall and inland dry air. This gives the reader a basic sense of order. However, the ideas are crowded into one long paragraph, and the sequence becomes difficult to follow when the response repeats the process and shifts to claims such as “the rain come to the sea level.” Linking is also repetitive, especially the repeated use of “and then,” while references such as “that air” and “them” are not always clear. Organise the stages into a concise overview followed by a clearly ordered description, and use a few precise links to show cause and result.

Lexical Resource: Band 4.5

You use some relevant process vocabulary, including “approaches,” “rises,” “cools,” “clouds,” “dry air,” and “rain-shadow desert,” so the topic is recognisable. However, the vocabulary is basic and often imprecise or repetitive, which makes parts of the explanation hard to understand. Phrases such as “what kind of changes are done,” “the wind dry,” and “the rain come” do not describe the process naturally. There are also spelling errors, including “kiolometers,” “proces,” and “rai.” Build a small set of accurate terms for the diagram—such as moisture, precipitation, windward, and leeward—and use them consistently. Prefer precise process verbs over repeated general words like “come” and “made.”

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 4.5

You attempt to connect stages in longer sentences, for example, “the moister in the air rises and cools up and the clouds forms,” but control of sentence structure and basic grammar is weak. Errors in agreement and verb forms occur frequently: “the clouds forms,” “the wind dry and reaches,” and “the rain come.” Articles and sentence boundaries are also problematic, as in “the wind approaches the sea and the the wind is pushed upwards.” These errors sometimes make the intended relationships unclear. Practise writing short, complete sentences first, checking subject–verb agreement and verb forms, then combine related stages with accurate connectors. A clear pattern such as “As moist air rises, it cools and forms clouds” would help.

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