Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-11-13
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The diagram illustrates of the formation of rain-shadow deserts.
Overall, the figure showed seven key steps of formation of rain-shadow deserts from sea over a mountain.
In first step ,winds approach coast over the sea toward the mountain and winds pushed upwards. The moist air rises and cools on the windward side of the mountain. In the fourth step clouds are form and starts rain falls on top of the mountain.After that on the leeward side of mountain,dry air continues to flow and at the last dry winds reach inland areas opposite of the sea and beyond the mountain and forms rain-shadow desert that are in thousand of kilomiters in distance.The mountains on side contains moist and cool airs from the sea out surface which contains steam also and on the other hand leeward side of the mountain contains dry air because the rain falls and there is no moisture left in the air.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response: Band 6.0
You cover the main sequence, from winds approaching the coast and rising over the mountain to rain on the windward side and dry air reaching inland. The overview also identifies seven stages, and the contrast between the moist windward side and dry leeward side is relevant. However, some details are unclear or not fully supported by the diagram. For example, “the mountains on side contains moist and cool airs” is imprecise, and the claim that the air has “no moisture left” overstates the process. The diagram shows dry air continuing over the mountain, not that all moisture disappears. To strengthen the report, describe the stages more precisely and avoid adding explanations or scale interpretations that are not clearly shown.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 5.5
The response follows the process in a broadly logical order, using markers such as “In first step,” “In the fourth step,” “After that,” and “at the last.” This helps the reader follow the movement from the sea to the inland desert. However, the report is presented as one paragraph, and the final sentence adds a comparison without a clear transition from the sequence. Some links are also awkward or unclear, particularly “opposite of the sea and beyond the mountain.” Organise the response into a brief overview and a separate process paragraph, and use clearer references such as “on the inland side” or “beyond the leeward slope.” This would make progression easier to follow and reduce the sense of ideas being joined mechanically.
Lexical Resource: Band 5.5
You use relevant process vocabulary, including “windward side,” “leeward side,” “moist air,” “dry air,” and “rain-shadow desert,” which helps communicate the diagram’s key concepts. However, several word choices and collocations are inaccurate or unnatural: “winds approach coast over the sea,” “clouds are form,” and “contains steam” do not express the process clearly. “Kilomiters” is also misspelled, and “in thousand of kilometres in distance” is an unclear interpretation of the scale label. Aim for precise, natural phrases such as “winds blow in from the sea,” “clouds form,” and “the dry air travels inland.” This would improve clarity while retaining the useful technical vocabulary you already use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 5.0
There is an attempt to combine stages in longer sentences, and the sequence remains understandable overall. However, grammatical control is inconsistent, especially with articles, verb forms, agreement, and sentence boundaries. Examples include “In first step,” “winds pushed upwards,” “clouds are form,” and “dry winds reach inland areas … and forms,” where the verb does not agree with its subject. The final sentence also contains a long chain of clauses that is difficult to control, while missing spaces after full stops and commas affect punctuation. Use a mix of short, accurate sentences and a few carefully formed complex ones. For example: “As the moist air rises, it cools and clouds form above the windward slope.” Check each sentence for a clear subject and matching verb.
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