Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-01

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 6.5)

The given flow chart delineates the detail that how a rain-shadow desert forms from sea wind to inland wind.

Overall, the total process of formation can be divided into four steps based on geographic factors, sea part, windward part , leeward part and inland part, with about thousands of kilometres in total.

Firstly, winds with the moisture coming from sea get closer to the coastline and start to go upward along the sharpe slope of the windward side. When the air rise to the high height, the temperatures begin to decrease making moist air transform to clouds. And then, it commences with raining as the clouds reaching at the peak of mountain.

What is more, dry air discharging the moisture at the top continues over mountains until arriving at inland areas. The winds go across the leeward side of mountains carring the paricles to the inland, which forming the Rain-shadow desert.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion7.0
Lexical Resource6.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy6.5
Overall6.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

该回答涵盖了雨影沙漠形成过程的主要阶段,指出了关键的地理区域以及从潮湿海风到干燥内陆条件的转变。然而,描述略显肤浅。虽然题目要求报告主要特征并进行比较,但回答缺乏对山脉高度与气候变化之间关系的清晰分析性概述。对 'leeward' 一侧的解释有些模糊,且在这一语境下提到 'particles' 也不够精确。为了达到更高的分数,你应该专注于更精确地描述因果联系,例如海拔带来的具体冷却效应以及由此产生的降水模式。

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

文章逻辑组织清晰,分为引言、概述和两个主体段落。思想的推进很好地遵循了图表的顺序。使用了诸如 'Firstly'、'What is more' 和 'When the air rise' 等衔接词,有助于引导读者。然而,一些过渡显得有些机械或生硬,例如 'And then, it commences with raining'。指代关系总体清晰,但段落划分可以通过确保过程的每个阶段区分得更明显来改进,从而增强信息流的连贯性。

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

词汇量对于该任务来说是足够的,但缺乏更高分数所要求的精确度。你使用了一些相关术语,如 'moisture'、'coastline' 和 'leeward',但也存在不准确的选词,例如 'sharpe slope'(拼写错误:sharp)、'high height'(冗余)以及 'carring the paricles'(拼写错误:carrying/particles)。词汇范围足以表达含义,但缺乏复杂的搭配或更专业的技术术语限制了得分。专注于与气象学相关的更准确的科学词汇将显著提升你的词汇范围。

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

回答中混合使用了简单句和复杂句。虽然你尝试使用复杂句,但频繁的语法错误偶尔会分散读者的注意力。例如 'the detail that how a rain-shadow desert forms'(从句结构错误)、'When the air rise'(主谓一致错误)以及 'which forming the Rain-shadow desert'(分词用法错误)。虽然这些错误并没有完全阻碍交流,但它们出现得过于频繁,从而影响了获得更高的分数。你应该重点关注主谓一致和定语从句的正确使用,以提高你的准确性。

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