Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.0)
The process diagram illustrate how the formation of rain-shadow deserts. The diagram further details that in the subsequent process.
Overall, there are numerous steps to make the rain-shadow deserts. In which starting point is sea and the ending point is Inland rain-shadow deserts.
After analysing , it can be seen clearly that in the first step is there is a under sea in which upper layer is Winds approach coast, the next is winds pushed upwards, then the third step is Moist air rises and cools, it is windward side and clouds form in the sky and after that rain falls in the earth and Dry air continuous over mountain is Leeward side and in the centre is Mountains and the final step is to Dry winds reach inland areas and it is the formation of rain-shadow deserts.
Overall, there are seven steps which are used to make products of the rain-shadow deserts. All these steps are interlinked with each other, omission of any step may halt the whole diagram.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response attempts to describe the process but fails to provide a clear, accurate summary of the stages. The description is fragmented and relies on listing labels from the diagram rather than synthesizing the information into a coherent process description. For example, phrases like 'in which starting point is sea' and 'the final step is to Dry winds reach inland' are grammatically awkward and fail to explain the meteorological process effectively. The overview is weak and does not capture the main features of the rain-shadow effect. The response lacks the analytical depth required for an Academic Task 1, as it reads more like a disjointed list of labels than a cohesive report.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The essay lacks logical progression. While there are attempts to use transition words like 'after that' and 'overall', the internal structure of the sentences is highly confusing, making it difficult to follow the sequence of events. Paragraphing is present but ineffective, as the ideas within the paragraphs are not logically connected. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often incorrect, such as 'In which starting point is sea', which does not function as a proper cohesive link. The overall arrangement of information is disjointed, which significantly hinders the reader's ability to understand the process being described.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.0
The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student relies heavily on copying words directly from the diagram (e.g., 'Winds approach coast', 'Moist air rises', 'Leeward side'). There is a lack of control over word choice and collocation, leading to unnatural phrasing such as 'make products of the rain-shadow deserts'. The vocabulary is insufficient to describe a scientific process with any degree of precision or academic tone. Basic errors in word formation and usage are frequent, which limits the ability to convey information clearly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The process diagram illustrate'), missing articles, and incorrect sentence structures (e.g., 'in the first step is there is a under sea'). The student struggles to form complex sentences correctly, often resulting in run-on sentences or fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. The range of structures is very limited, and the high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read.
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