Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The given diagram illustrate the how one type of desert known as a rain-shadow desert is formed.
Overall, the evident diagram shows the information about of rain-shadow deserts. It's give in seven stages its start of winds approach coast and the end of dry winds reach inland cuea.
Firstly, it's start the winds approach coast the rain ready in the sea after that it's winds pushed upwards then its mix in the moist air rises and cools. Moreover, make the clouds form than the rain falls in the mountains.
Secondly, the rain water is going to leeward side its dry air continues over mountain Thou the dry winds is reaching inland cuea.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the student attempts to describe the process, the summary is underdeveloped and lacks sufficient detail regarding the stages of the rain-shadow effect. The overview is repetitive and does not clearly synthesize the main features of the diagram. Because the response is 38 words short, it does not fully address all parts of the task, leading to a lower band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into short paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. Transitions like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly' are used, but the connections between sentences are often unclear or mechanical. The referencing is sometimes confusing, such as the phrase 'inland cuea', which does not clearly relate to the diagram. The overall progression of ideas is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the process of desert formation smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'evident diagram' instead of 'provided diagram' and 'rain ready in the sea'. The student struggles to use precise terminology related to geography or meteorology, relying on basic, often inaccurate descriptions. The lack of variety and the misuse of terms prevent the communication of complex ideas, keeping the lexical range at a basic level.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The response contains frequent grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The given diagram illustrate', 'It's give in seven stages'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or lack proper grammatical construction, such as 'Firstly, it's start the winds approach coast'. While there is an attempt to use complex structures, they are almost always faulty. The high frequency of errors makes the text difficult to read and understand.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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