Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.0)

The diagram illustrates the natural process by which a rain shadow desert is formed. First reason the process start wind approach coast from sea . When the nim wind start appear from sea then that is make cooled. Windward side , The winds pushed upwards so he makes moist air rises and cools.still ,The clouds form dry but when the rain and cloud's make mixture then we provided the cooler rain.leewards side When it clouds downwards slowly and slowly dry air over mountains. The rain shadow desert is a desert formed because mountains block rain clouds. When wet winds hit a mountains the rain falls on one side. The other side get almost no rain becomes a rain. Overall, For example, I discussed my relevant view. Like, my uncle live there Mari area . There are many mountains as well as weather is very cooled . Mari area is very beautiful and available many trees , you called that hiri areas. Mountains hit the clouds due to dry clouds and stop rain.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the task appropriately. While it attempts to describe the process, it includes irrelevant personal anecdotes about the 'Mari area' and the writer's uncle, which are not present in the diagram. The description of the process is fragmented and lacks a clear, logical summary of the stages shown in the diagram. The main features, such as the windward and leeward sides, are mentioned but not clearly explained or compared. The inclusion of personal opinion and external information is inappropriate for an Academic Task 1 report, which requires an objective summary of the provided visual data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The response lacks logical progression. Paragraphing is absent, and the text is presented as a single, disjointed block. Cohesive devices are either missing or used incorrectly, such as the awkward transition 'Overall, For example, I discussed my relevant view.' The relationship between the sentences is often unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequence of the formation process. The jump from describing the desert formation to discussing personal travel experiences creates a significant break in the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. There is frequent misuse of words, such as 'nim wind' and 'hiri areas,' which do not appear in the diagram or standard geographical terminology. The writer struggles to use appropriate scientific or descriptive language to explain the process. Basic errors in word choice, such as 'the other side get almost no rain becomes a rain,' impede the clarity of the message. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to describe the technical process shown in the diagram.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often distort the meaning. There are significant issues with sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and article usage (e.g., 'When the nim wind start appear,' 'The other side get almost no rain'). The text relies on simple, poorly constructed sentences, and there is a lack of complex structures. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with misplaced commas and periods throughout the text. These errors are pervasive and frequently make the text difficult to comprehend.

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