Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 5.0)

So,the formation of rain shadow desert can be depicted as one of the most important concept of science for beginners understanding how the nature works,so when the wind from the sea approaches the coast,which covers thousands of kilometres on land with a sharp peak mountain,the wind is pushed upwards towards the top of the mountain where the mosit air gradually starts to become cooler leading towards the cloud formation.When these clouds are completely formed,eventually the rain falls start ,while the dry air continues to move over the downwards side of the mountain,and eventually it reaches inland areas forming the Rain shadow desert.The whole process allows nature to work smoothly and efficiently,but if the rythm is disturbed particularly due to global warming leading towards hot weather conditions and the chances of rain fall decreases which eventually disturbs the whole process.Therefore,it is recommended to stop deforestation and help in reducing global warming by protecting mother nature.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the requirements of an Academic Task 1 report. Instead of objectively describing the process shown in the diagram, you have included subjective commentary and personal opinions, such as 'the whole process allows nature to work smoothly' and 'it is recommended to stop deforestation.' These are irrelevant to the task. Furthermore, the response lacks a clear overview of the process and fails to highlight the main stages systematically. To improve, focus strictly on the visual information provided, describing the sequence of events from the moist air approaching the mountain to the formation of the desert on the leeward side, without adding external opinions or environmental advocacy.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is written as a single, dense paragraph, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of the process. While there are some attempts at cohesive devices like 'when,' 'while,' and 'therefore,' the punctuation is highly problematic. You frequently use commas where periods or semicolons are required, leading to run-on sentences that obscure the logical flow. To improve, use clear paragraphing to separate the stages of the process and focus on using punctuation correctly to separate distinct ideas, which will help the reader navigate your explanation more effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You use basic terms like 'important concept' and 'nature works,' which are not appropriate for a technical description of a geographical process. There are also spelling errors such as 'mosit' (moist) and 'rythm' (rhythm). While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'rain-shadow desert' and 'deforestation,' the overall range is insufficient to describe the diagram with precision. To improve, learn and use more precise scientific terminology related to weather and geography, such as 'prevailing winds,' 'leeward side,' 'condensation,' and 'precipitation.'

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The grammatical control is weak. The text is characterized by long, convoluted sentences that lack proper punctuation, such as 'So,the formation of rain shadow desert can be depicted as one of the most important concept of science...' There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures that are often poorly linked. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and punctuation. Avoid long, run-on sentences and ensure that each sentence expresses a single, clear idea with correct subject-verb agreement.

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