Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-05

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The pie chart illustrates the proportion of household earnings spent on food, housing, transport, education, healthcare and other expenses in a given year.

Overall, food accounted for the highest percentage of income, while other expenses represented the lowest share. Housing and transport accounted for a significant proportion.

Zooming into the details, food accounted for highest share of family income at about 30%. This was followed by housing and transport approximately about 25% and 15%, respectively. It was a significant proportion of household earning.

Devling into the details, Education, healthcare, entertainment and other expenses had lowest share of family income. Education stood at about 10%, while healthcare was exactly 2% lower. The difference between entertainment and other expenses at about 2% points.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 3.0

The response is significantly off-topic. The task required a description of a diagram showing the formation of a rain-shadow desert, but you described a pie chart about household expenditure. Consequently, the response fails to address the prompt entirely. Furthermore, the response is under the 150-word minimum, which negatively impacts the score. Because the content does not match the visual data provided in the instructions, it is impossible to assess your ability to report on the specific features of the rain-shadow desert diagram. To improve, ensure you carefully read the prompt and examine the provided image before beginning your writing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression using transition words like 'Overall' and 'Zooming into the details'. However, the cohesion is mechanical and the referencing is confusing because the content does not relate to the task. While the structure is clear, the lack of relevance to the actual prompt means the coherence is undermined by the disconnect between the text and the task requirements. To improve, focus on ensuring that your paragraphing and linking words serve to explain the specific data or process presented in the prompt.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a limited range of vocabulary suitable for describing charts, such as 'accounted for', 'proportion', and 'respectively'. However, because the vocabulary is applied to the wrong topic, it is difficult to evaluate your ability to describe a scientific process. There are also minor errors, such as 'Devling' (spelling) and 'earning' (should be plural 'earnings'). To reach a higher band, you need to expand your vocabulary to include terms relevant to processes and scientific diagrams, such as 'moisture', 'precipitation', 'elevation', and 'prevailing winds', rather than just financial terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'accounted for highest share' (missing article 'the') and 'approximately about' (redundant usage). The phrase 'The difference between entertainment and other expenses at about 2% points' is a sentence fragment lacking a main verb. While the meaning is generally clear, these errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, the correct use of articles, and ensuring every sentence contains a clear, finite verb.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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