Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The process diagram provides information about one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow, is formed.

Overall, it is clear that process consist of several stages, starting from winds approach coast and finishing with dry winds inland areas. It involves a number of steps, including windward side, leeward side and Inland.

At the first stage, winds approach coast is upper the sea level. This is followed by .winds pushed upwards. Once this stage has been completed, moist rises cools. The material or product is then transported before proceeding to the subsequent stage is converted into clouds form in windward side. Following this rain falls in mountains is transported for dry air continues over mountain in leeward side takes place. In the final stage, dry winds reach inland areas is delivered in inland resulting in the completed rain- shadow desert in t

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, which significantly impacts the score. While the student attempts to describe the process, the explanation is fragmented and lacks clarity. Key stages of the rain-shadow effect, such as the cooling of moist air and the formation of clouds, are mentioned but not clearly explained or linked to the diagram's logic. The description is often confusing, such as 'rain falls in mountains is transported for dry air continues', which obscures the actual process. The response is also incomplete, ending abruptly with 'in t'. Consequently, the main features are not effectively reported or compared.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a logical flow. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'At the first stage' and 'This is followed by', the sentences themselves are often disjointed and grammatically incoherent, making it difficult to follow the progression of the process. Paragraphing is present but ineffective because the ideas within the paragraphs are not well-connected. The referencing is frequently unclear, and the abrupt ending further disrupts the coherence of the text. The overall structure is mechanical rather than fluid.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly. Phrases like 'winds approach coast is upper the sea level' and 'material or product is then transported' demonstrate a lack of control over appropriate terminology for describing a natural process. There is significant repetition of basic words, and the misuse of terms like 'material' to describe air or moisture indicates a lack of precision. The vocabulary is insufficient to convey the technical nature of the diagram accurately, and the errors in word choice occasionally impede the reader's understanding.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammar is highly problematic, with frequent errors that impede communication. Many sentences are grammatically incomplete or incorrectly structured, such as 'the process consist of several stages' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'winds approach coast is upper the sea level'. There is a lack of control over complex sentence structures, and the attempt to use them often results in confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent. The high frequency of errors throughout the text makes it difficult to identify any consistent control over basic grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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