Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram shows how rain shadow desert is formed. It shows the whole process of rain shadow desert.

Overall, the whole process of rain is explain in five steps and the remaining steps for rain shadow.This process is expand to thousands kilometers.

First of all wind approach sea water. When wind hits the water they tring to push the water upwards.In the third step air moist and became cool. After that in fourth step finally cloud had been formed.In fifth step rain falls on mountain with heavy speed.In the sixth step dry air moist the rain water and help the water to leeward side.This process continues over the mountain.After many time finally dry wind reached the inland areas.In inland wind broke into small pieces and reamin under the land.At this moment rain shadow desert is formed under the land.This whole process is called the formation of rain shadow deserts.

In conclusion the whole process is about rain shadow desert.In this process explain how desert is formed under the land.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to summarise the diagram showing the formation of a rain-shadow desert, but the response falls short of fully presenting a clear overview and effectively reporting the main features. While the student mentions several steps from the process, such as wind approaching the sea, cloud formation, and rainfall on the mountain, the description is confused and inaccurate regarding the scientific concepts presented in the visual data (for instance, claiming that 'dry air moist the rain water'). The overview provided in the second paragraph is weak and repetitive, stating simply that the process is explained in steps. There is no clear highlighting of the key differences between the windward and leeward sides of the mountain. Consequently, Task Achievement is limited, demonstrating a Band 4.5 performance where the response is overly simplistic and partially misinterprets the source data.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response is divided into short paragraphs, but overall organization and logical progression are heavily impacted by the simplistic sentence structure and poor integration of ideas. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'First of all wind approach sea water', 'In the third step', and repetitive phrases like 'The whole process'. There is a lack of smooth transitions between sentences, resulting in a choppy and disjointed text. Paragraphing is attempted, with an introduction, body, and conclusion, but the logical flow from one stage of the diagram to the next breaks down due to confusing referencing and mechanical transitions. This places the response firmly at Band 5.0 for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The lexical resource is basic and repetitive, frequently reusing terms such as 'process', 'rain shadow desert', 'wind', and 'water' throughout the response. There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as 'wind approach sea water', 'heavy speed' instead of 'heavy volume' or 'heavy rainfall', and 'dry air moist the rain water'. The student attempts some topic-specific vocabulary related to the diagram, but the limited range and frequent inaccuracies in word formation and spelling restrict the vocabulary to a Band 4.5 or 5.0 level. Because communication is occasionally hindered by imprecise terminology, a score of 4.5 is appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent basic errors. Complex structures are attempted very poorly, and there are pervasive errors in tense, subject-verb agreement, and word forms (e.g., 'wind approach', 'air moist and became cool', 'cloud had been formed', 'After many time finally dry wind reached'). Punctuation is also faulty, with missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'rain shadow desert.This process'). The high frequency of grammatical errors causes difficulty for the reader and prevents the response from achieving a higher band, aligning best with the Band 4.0 descriptors.

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