Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The given figure illustrates the procedure of the formation of rain shadow deserts step by step.

Overall, this is a two-side lengthy process on the mountains area with multiple complicated 7 steps from sea to rain shadow desert one side is windward other is leeward side this process is natural human intervention not include.

On a cursory look, it becomes evident that the whole operation commences with, winds approach coast start from Sea then pushed winds upwards to the mountains. In the next stage winds convert into moisturizing cools air furthermore Clouds form is starting after step 3. Following this, simple clouds converted into rain fall clouds in windward side on top of the mountains. Later on, moister air converted into dry winds over the mountain leeward side and continue movement. Thereafter, dry winds reach the inland areas and show the rain shadow desert. This Process takes thousands of kilometers distance from coast to rain shadow desert.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to describe the process of rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram. However, the overview is poorly framed, including irrelevant commentary such as "this process is natural human intervention not include." The description of the steps is somewhat disjointed and fails to comprehensively or clearly report the main features and comparisons. While the response identifies a sequence of events starting from the sea to the rain shadow desert, the lack of clear, logical development and several inaccurate descriptions of the stages keep this response at a lower band level. To improve, the student should focus on presenting a clear, coherent overview of the entire diagram without extraneous remarks and ensure every key stage is accurately detailed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The response is divided into three paragraphs, but paragraphing and cohesion are severely compromised. The second paragraph is a long, run-on sentence that jumbles multiple ideas together ("Overall, this is a two-side lengthy process..."). Transitional phrases are used mechanically and often inappropriately, such as "On a cursory look, it becomes evident that..." and "Furthermore Clouds form is starting after step 3." Logical progression is frequently interrupted by confusing syntax and poor referencing. The overall arrangement lacks clear cohesive ties between sentences, making it difficult for the reader to follow the sequential flow of the diagram.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The student's vocabulary is basic and repetitive, utilizing restricted terms to describe a technical process. Examples include "lengthy process," "dry winds," and "moister air." There are noticeable word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as "mourtaining cools air" and "simple clouds converted into rain fall clouds." Less common vocabulary is attempted with limited success and inaccuracies that occasionally cause strain for the reader. To achieve a higher score, the student needs to incorporate precise scientific and geographical terminology relevant to weather systems and landscape features.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is extremely limited, relying heavily on faulty complex structures and run-on sentences. There are frequent errors in verb forms, articles, and punctuation, such as "winds approach coast start from Sea then pushed winds upwards" and "Clouds form is starting after step 3." Many sentences lack proper subject-verb agreement or contain missing auxiliary verbs, resulting in distorted or confusing meanings. The majority of sentences contain noticeable errors that frequently cause difficulty for the reader.

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