Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram demonstrate that how one form of desert known as a rain shadow desert, is form by seven steps .

overall a glance illustrates the formation of rain-shadow deserts start from the sea the winds approach coast and change it into the clouds form in addition these clouds convert in to rain moreover the rain is dry and form a rain shadow desert in inland area.

however the first step of forming a rain-shadow deserts are winds approach coast after that winds pushed upwards convert moist air rises from the windward side and cools afterword clouds form and rain falls after the rain dry air continues over mountains by leeward side however that dry wind reach inland areas and form the rain-shadow desert

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The student attempts to summarise the diagram illustrating the formation of a rain-shadow desert, noting the key stages from moist winds approaching the coast, rising over mountains, forming rain, and finally resulting in a dry rain-shadow desert inland. However, the response falls significantly short of the 150-word minimum, containing only 124 words. This under-length severely restricts the level of detail and data reporting, leading to an underdeveloped overview and incomplete coverage of the seven steps depicted in the process. Consequently, this leads to a penalty under Task Achievement. To improve, the student must expand their descriptions to meet the word count requirement and cover all visual stages thoroughly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from poor organisation and a lack of proper paragraphing, as it is written as a single dense block of sentences with minimal punctuation. While basic cohesive devices such as 'overall', 'however', and 'after that' are attempted, they are used repetitively and often inappropriately without correct punctuation or comma usage to guide the reader. The logical progression is difficult to follow because clauses run together without clear boundaries. To achieve a higher band score, the student needs to break the text into distinct paragraphs (such as an introduction, an overview, and sequential detail paragraphs) and use a wider variety of cohesive devices accurately.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used throughout the essay is very basic and repetitive. Words like 'form', 'desert', 'winds', and 'rain' are repeated frequently without synonyms or varied collocations. There are also notable word-form errors, such as 'The diagram demonstrate that how one form of desert known as a rain shadow desert, is form' instead of 'demonstrates' and 'formed'. Other attempts at less common vocabulary are constrained by inaccuracies in collocation and word choice. To improve, the student should expand their range of vocabulary by learning specific process-related verbs and adjectives, and pay close attention to word forms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response demonstrates a very limited range of grammatical structures. The majority of sentences are poorly constructed run-on sentences joined incorrectly by conjunctions or lacking proper punctuation entirely. There are frequent grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement issues ('The diagram demonstrate'), incorrect passive voice usage ('is form'), and missing articles or prepositions. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are generally faulty and impede readability. To improve, the student needs to focus on sentence boundaries, punctuation, basic subject-verb agreement, and accurate tense or voice formation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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