Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

The diagram illustrates the one kind of desesrt that famous as rain shadow desert, is formed.

Overall, two sides of moutain one of formed rain other side is rain shadow desesrt.Also wind approched to the coast and reached to the Inland.

On the initial stage, the wind approched the coast and that wind produced by sea also wind pushed to upwards and create moist in the air and then cooled down. After all these three prcocess clouds are formed and chnaged into the rain. Rains fallen at the Windward side to the mountains.

At the final stage, other side of the mountains, the wind is dry over the mountain passed by the leeward and reached to the inland area that also dryed.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response4.5
Coherence and Cohesion5.0
Lexical Resource4.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy4.5
Overall4.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response attempts to describe the formation of a rain-shadow desert by tracing the main steps from winds approaching the coast to dry air reaching inland areas. However, the text suffers from a major drawback regarding length: it contains only 122 words, failing to meet the minimum requirement of 150 words. This under-length restriction directly caps the task achievement score. Content-wise, the student does manage to identify some key stages such as moist air rising, clouds forming, rain falling on the windward side, and dry winds continuing over the mountains to the leeward side. Nevertheless, the description lacks development, precision, and a clear overview statement summarizing the entire process.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The text is organized into three paragraphs, representing an introduction and two body stages. While an overarching logical progression is attempted, the referencing and transitions are frequently faulty or mechanical. Phrases like 'On the initial stage' and 'At the final stage' indicate an awareness of sequencing, but the internal cohesion within sentences is often weak. Pronoun referencing and linking words are mishandled, leading to run-on structures and fragmented ideas. Paragraphing is attempted, but the division and flow of information lack the clarity and sophistication expected at higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary used is very basic and repetitive. The student relies heavily on simple terms and makes numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'desesrt', 'moutain', 'approched', 'prcocess', 'chnaged', and 'dryed'. There are also awkward collocations and grammatical misuses of lexical items, such as 'famous as rain shadow desert'. While the student attempts subject-specific vocabulary like 'windward side', 'leeward', and 'inland area', the overall lexical range is limited and frequently inaccurate, which hinders clear communication in places.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains frequent errors in sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and tense consistency. For example, the opening sentence 'The diagram illustrates the one kind of desesrt that famous as rain shadow desert, is formed.' is heavily ungrammatical with multiple verbs clause errors. Complex structures are attempted, such as relative clauses and passive constructions, but they are consistently faulty. Punctuation errors are also common, resulting in run-on sentences that require effort from the reader to parse.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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