Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

This diagram illustrate that how a rain-shadow desert is formed by one type of desert.

overall, this diagram tell us that how sea water is retransfer to rain-shadow water.

firstly, winds approach coast and then these winds pushed this coast to up side of the mountain. When air pushed this coast to upward after that these moist air rises and cools, when it reach windward side. after completing this process this moist air which is cool, converted into cloud form.

And when rain, then its water fall at peak flat area of the mountain. The water of this raining water dry over the mountain after sometime. After that this dry rain continues to fall to leeward side of the mountain.

After completing this thousands of kilometer of route, it reach inland area .This is the way how sea coast transfer its location to rain-shadow desert after completing thousands of kilometers.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to describe the seven-step process of rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram, but it struggles with accurate reporting. While the student identifies key elements like the winds, mountains, and the formation of clouds and rain on the windward side, the description of the mechanics contains inaccurate details, such as 'winds pushed this coast to up side of the mountain' and 'water of this raining water dry over the mountain'. Furthermore, the overview ('this diagram tell us that how sea water is retransfer to rain-shadow water') is poorly expressed and misinterprets the physical process. Although all main stages are mentioned in sequence, the confusion in interpretation limits the development and clarity, placing it firmly at Band 4.5 to 5.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The text is organized with a basic introduction and conclusion attempt, but overall cohesion is weak and repetitive. The student uses sequence markers like 'firstly', 'and then', and 'after that', but these devices are often inaccurate or mechanically overused, resulting in run-on phrasing ('When air pushed this coast to upward after that these moist air rises and cools...'). Paragraphing is poorly handled, with the body and overview run together awkwardly. There is no clear logical progression between sentences due to dense, tangled phrasing and vague referencing, which frequently disrupts the flow of information.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is very basic, repetitive, and often unnatural for an academic report. Words like 'retransfer', 'raining water', and 'dry rain' demonstrate inadequate control of lexical items and incorrect word formation. The student struggles to select precise scientific or geographical terms, relying instead on colloquial and confused phrasing (e.g., 'sea coast transfer its location'). While the word count requirement is met, the lexical range is severely limited, and noticeable word choice errors cause significant difficulty for the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

Grammatical control is weak throughout the response. The text contains frequent, intrusive errors in basic sentence structure, tense consistency, and prepositions (e.g., 'This diagram illustrate that how', 'winds pushed this coast to up side', 'it reach inland area'). Complex sentence attempts are uniformly faulty, leading to tangled syntax and heavily distorted clauses. Simple sentences also contain agreement or word-order errors. These frequent mistakes place a heavy strain on the reader, keeping the grammar score within the Band 4 range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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