Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-16
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The image shows the formation of rain shadow deserts in seven steps,how the wind approaches from the sea carring water vapours, it rains on the mountain top, dry winds reach the inland areas and form rain shadow.
From the sea coast fast winds reach to mountains after collision, air is forced upwards due to which moist air rises at a height and cool down, when air reaches to a certain height, moist air becomes dense and form cloud, due to fast air blowing clouds keep on rising at stage 5 where there is a mountain peak, there clouds start showering the rain, after that dry air forms which continue over the mountain and get on other side of the sea, windward side is the sea side while the side opposite of it is called leeward side, in leeward side dry air descends and reaches to inland areas, There that air forms rain shadows
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The student attempts to describe the seven-step process of rain-shadow desert formation shown in the diagram. While the response identifies several key stages—such as winds approaching from the sea, air being pushed upwards, moisture cooling to form clouds, rain falling on the windward side, and dry air descending on the leeward side into inland areas—it lacks a clear overall overview. Furthermore, the progression of ideas is somewhat blurred into a single long paragraph with repetitive phrasing ('moist air', 'dry air'). Important visual details like the mountain peak and the horizontal scale of thousands of kilometres are either integrated clumsily or omitted. Consequently, the task is addressed only partially, fitting the Band 5 criteria for developing a limited response.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The entire response is written as a single, massive run-on paragraph, which severely impacts the coherence and visual structure of the report. There is an absence of appropriate paragraphing to separate the introduction, the rising/cooling stages, and the descending rain-shadow effect. Cohesive devices are weak or absent, relying heavily on comma splices and run-on structures (e.g., '...moist air rises at a height and cool down, when air reaches to a certain height...'). Although a chronological sequence is attempted, the lack of punctuation and clear signposting makes the progression difficult to follow, leading to a Band 4 or low Band 5 level of organizational control.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The lexical range is quite limited and repetitive. The student relies on basic, common vocabulary such as 'wind', 'air', 'sea', 'mountain', and 'rain', while misspelling key terms like 'carring' (carrying). There are awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'after collision' and 'clouds start showering the rain'. Attempts to use less common items result in inaccuracies, which occasionally impede smooth reading. Overall, the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic subject matter, but insufficient precision and frequent lexical flaws place it squarely at Band 5.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The grammatical structure of the response is heavily compromised by run-on sentences, comma splices, and a lack of proper punctuation. Nearly every sentence is a lengthy compound-complex string of clauses joined incorrectly by commas rather than full stops or conjunctions (e.g., '...dry air forms which continue over the mountain and get on other side of the sea, windward side is the sea side while the side opposite of it is called leeward side...'). There are numerous tense and agreement inconsistencies (e.g., 'air rises at a height and cool down'). Because complex structures are frequently faulty and basic punctuation is neglected, the grammar corresponds to Band 4.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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