Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-17
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 4.5)
The diagram below shows that how rains are formed.initially the winds approach in the sea water and the water of the sea pushed the water upward from the surface of the sea. after this the moist air raised and cools the water participients and the air are spread around the earth.and it convert in the form of clouds rains are fallen on the mountains and earth.dry air continues over the mountains and convert it into the leeward side.in the final process the dry winds reached inland areas.the process is happend in thousands of kiometers.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 4.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 4.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 150 words, reaching only 94 words. This severely limits the candidate's ability to fully report the main features and make necessary comparisons regarding the rain-shadow desert formation process. While the student attempts to trace the sequence of events from winds approaching the coast to dry winds reaching inland areas, the description is highly compressed, contains inaccuracies regarding the mechanisms involved, and completely lacks an overview. Due to the under-length penalty and the lack of a fully developed response, the score is constrained to Band 4.0.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5
The text is written as a single block paragraph without any paragraph breaks, which disrupts the logical layout of the response. Cohesive devices are minimal and basic, relying on simple connectors like 'initially', 'after this', and 'in the final process'. Pronoun referencing and linking between clauses are frequently faulty or confusing, such as 'the water of the sea pushed the water upward', making the progression of ideas difficult to follow at times. Overall, the organisation lacks the clear structure expected at higher bands.
Lexical Resource — Band 4.5
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, featuring frequent inappropriate word choices and collocations. For instance, the student writes 'rains are formed' and 'water participients', which demonstrates a limited command of appropriate scientific and descriptive terms. Spelling errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'the process is happend in thousands of kiometers', further restrict the score. While some process-related terms like 'winds', 'clouds', and 'mountain' are present, the range is too restricted and inaccurate for a higher band.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The response displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, consisting mostly of simple and attempted compound sentences that often contain severe structural errors. Punctuation and capitalization are largely neglected, as seen in sentences starting with lowercase letters and run-on phrasing like 'moist air raised and cools the water participients and the air are spread around the earth.and it convert in the form of clouds'. Frequent errors in verb tenses, voice, and subject-verb agreement heavily impact readability and impede communication throughout the text.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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