Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-18

IELTS Writing Task 1 question

The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The formation of rain-shadow deserts

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is a type of deserts which is called rain shadow desert and this is a summerize of how this type is formed

In the begining , winds coming frome the sea get approached to the coast then due to mountains winds get pushed up and while they are pushing forward winds get more moist , thzy rise then cool down consequently clouds form after that it rains when the clouds reaches the edge of the mountaine , by time dry air goes down the mountaine countinously in the leewardside later those dry winds when yhe reaches inland areas they form what we call rain shadow desert , and as we see in the diagramme there is two sides in the mountaine , first one named as windword side and for the second is leeward side , the first one shows how come the rains fall , frome the wind that moist and cools forming clouds that let rain falls , in yhe second side the wind coming from the windword side get dryied then when it reaches inland areas it turns into rain shadow desert

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response covers the main features of the diagram illustrating the formation of a rain-shadow desert, successfully moving through the stages from coastal winds, to moist air rising and cooling over the windward side of the mountains, and finally resulting in dry winds and the rain-shadow desert on the leeward inland side. However, the response lacks clear paragraphing, presenting all information in a single, block-like introduction and body combination, which slightly restricts the overall development of the overview and logical presentation of information. Still, the primary stages and comparisons between the windward and leeward sides are accurately reported, meeting the core requirements of Task Achievement at a Band 6.0 level.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The text suffers from a major structural flaw as it is written as one continuous, unbroken paragraph without proper paragraphing or standard punctuation boundaries. Sentences are run together using commas and conjunctions like 'then' and 'and', such as '...get approached to the coast then due to mountains winds get pushed up and while they are pushing forward...'. While there is a general chronological progression following the numbered stages of the diagram, the lack of cohesive transitions and the absence of clear sentences make the overall organisation mechanical and difficult to follow. This aligns best with the Band 4.0 descriptors for Coherence and Cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, frequently misusing words or employing incorrect collocations, such as 'get approached to the coast', 'thzy rise', and 'dryied'. There are numerous spelling mistakes ('summerize', 'begining', 'frome', 'mountaine', 'leewardside', 'yhe', 'windword', 'diagramme') which highlight a limited control of word forms and spelling. While some topic-specific terms from the prompt are successfully integrated (e.g., 'rain-shadow desert', 'windward side', 'leeward side', 'moist air'), the high frequency of lexical and spelling errors restricts the range and precision, placing the response firmly at a Band 4.0 level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The submission relies heavily on a string of clauses linked together by coordinating conjunctions, resulting in major run-on sentences and a complete absence of periods or correct terminal punctuation. There is a lack of control over basic grammatical structures, featuring frequent errors such as subject-verb agreement issues ('winds coming... get approached', 'when yhe reaches'), prepositional misuse ('get approached to'), and tense inconsistencies. Simple structures dominate and complex attempts are consistently flawed by punctuation and structural errors that occasionally impede smooth reading. This performance corresponds to a Band 4.0.

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