Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 1 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 21 · 2026-09-19
IELTS Writing Task 1 question
The diagram below shows how one type of desert, known as a rain-shadow desert, is formed.
Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The formation of rain-shadow deserts
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The line graph illustrates the number of jobs across four major sectors of the economy in the US over a 60-year period starting from 1960.Overall, the manufacturing industry was the dominant employer for the majority of the timeframe, while the agricultural sector consistently maintained the smallest workforce. Over the period, healthcare and retail experienced a steady upward trend, whereas manufacturing and agriculture showed an overall decline.In 1960, manufacturing jobs stood at approximately 15 million. This figure rose to a peak of 20 million in 1980 before steadily dropping to 13 million by the end of 2020. Conversely, the healthcare field expanded dramatically, with employment positions climbing from 2.5 million to 16 million over the 60 years.Between 1960 and 2000, the retail sector generated more jobs, showing a consistent increase of 5 million every two decades, which then plateaued from 2000 to 2020. Meanwhile, agriculture employed around 3 million people in 1980, which was half of its 1960 total, and experienced negligible changes from that point onward.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 1.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 7.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 1.0
The student has written an essay about employment sectors (manufacturing, healthcare, retail, agriculture), which describes a line graph. However, the actual prompt and visual data provided for this task illustrate a geographical process diagram showing the formation of rain-shadow deserts. Because the student completely misidentified the visual prompt and wrote about a completely different topic (job statistics over 60 years), this response is entirely off-topic for the visual provided. Consequently, Task Achievement cannot meet the requirements for a passing score and must be heavily penalised for failing to address the task prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
Despite being off-topic regarding the content, the essay itself is structured logically. It opens with an introduction that includes an overview statement, followed by body paragraphs discussing specific sectors with temporal markers and numerical details. Cohesive devices such as 'Conversely', 'Meanwhile', and 'This figure rose' are used appropriately to link ideas and guide the reader smoothly through the fabricated data. Paragraphing is also handled adequately, with logical grouping of information. If evaluated purely on organisational structure and paragraphing mechanics independent of the task prompt, the text demonstrates good coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
The student demonstrates a satisfactory vocabulary range suited to describing trends and statistical changes. Phrases such as 'dominant employer', 'steady upward trend', 'overall decline', 'peaked', and 'plateaued' are used correctly and naturally. While the vocabulary is appropriate for a Task 1 response about economic data, it does not match the geographical and meteorological terminology required for describing a rain-shadow desert diagram. Nevertheless, the lexical choices used within the student's chosen topic are precise and demonstrate an adequate command of words related to charts and graphs.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0
The grammatical structures employed in the text are varied and generally well-controlled. The student successfully uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, including subordinate clauses ('while the agricultural sector consistently maintained', 'which then plateaued from 2000 to 2020'). Verb tenses referring to past time periods ('stood', 'rose', 'dropped', 'expanded') are handled accurately throughout. There are very few grammatical errors, and punctuation is handled correctly, ensuring that communication is never impeded by structural flaws.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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